My MtF Transition in Pictorial Form

My newly constructed pussy needs regular cleanup, so that it can be free from bacterial infection, and so that its elasticity and flexibility can be maintained. The clinical staff member who is responsible for helping me to do this cleanup up job is a young nurse who has just done her internship. 

She finds me a very strange  human specimen, being born male and yet underwent surgery to work as a female escort. As she is inserting different types of tubing and various gadgets into my pussy ...and asshole...for  a complete cleansing job, I feel so shy, because I used to be male, and then the strange situation of me having cut my cock to leave behind a hole there  for an 19-year-old girl to clean and cleanse makes me feel a bit uneasy, so that I often choose to cover up my face with a mask while she is doing the pussy/asshole cleaning job for me.

I need to undergo regular whole-body physical checkup at least once a month after my sex reassignment surgery to see that everything down at my bottom is okay. That costs a bit of money, since it has to be done regularly with no break. 

The night club manager arranges for me to get FREE medical checkup on condition that I allow my body to be examined and inspected by the trainee doctors...housemen...who are fresh from having completed their medical degree. 

The boys and girls...for there are both male and female trainee doctors...will spread open my pussy and probe my virginal and anal canals to check for any possible adverse developments after my S R S and of course, they are also on the lookout for possible bacterial infection of  my pussy from germs and virus I might have got into contact with while doing my work as an escort. 

Because they are doctors, there is not sexual harassment involved, but it is very embarrassing as some trainee doctors are girls, and the girls are especially interested in my pussy.

I have recently undergone a minor surgery to enlarge  the size of my areola ...that little circular patch of pink tissues around each of my nipples. One major difference between a ladyboy's nipples and those of a biological girl is that size of the areola tends to be noticeably smaller where a ladyboy's breasts are concerned.

It is NOT a major issue because some biological girls also have smaller-sized areolas, but it does cause me to feel a bit uncomfortable since I want to be 100 per cent girl -- being left just  1 per cent male is never my compromising option.

This is how the areolas on my breasts look after that minor surgery. A larger-sized areola makes me feel both sexy and feminine, and being as sexy and feminine as possible has been my dream and passion since the age of 13.

At the very beginning, before my castration, my breasts were just these, at no more than 32 inches. Master sent me to the clinic for breast pumping three times a week, and that is to reinforce what female hormones could not do. This kind of pumping worked marvelously, because it helped to make my breasts and nipples firm and erect, but NOT necessarily bigger in my view.

My breasts are now PROUDLY  like these -

Since I now have a female identity, I can easily get any job that doesn't require formal academic education but which requires applicants to be presentable and fluent in English. So while still working full time as housemaid and part time as escort, I am also doing a number of jobs. Car modelling is one of those jobs. Men like visiting car fairs not to see new cars, but car models. I always make up myself beautifully...and dress sexily...while modelling at such fairs. 

Master is at my side for crowd management, since men so like having their body pushed against mine, and they like having their hardening penis pushed against my butt when I am turning my back on them. I don't avoid THAT as this sort of sex harassment leads inevitably to bookings which Master will register towards the end of each car fair session.

Master has helped me to become a girl -- i am eternally grateful to Him for having successfully done that whereas for years I had failed to do so because of the lack of professional medical guidance, submission training and all the needed surgeries - over a dozen of them since 2013. This poem is my expression of love for Master which i hope He will somehow see when surfing the Internet : -

Yesterday my love, I had a dream,
in which I saw you standing near a stream....
There I found a bridge full of silvery shine,
Then and there, too... my love... I heard you cry.
Don't cry, my dear, I told you,
I'd never leave you,
Here at the stream of earthly life,
And there at the bridge of eternal life,
I have -- and always will have -- just one home....
My home is where your heart is,
where true eternity is...
And where I can find love, care -- and heavenly bliss.

Thank you, my love, for giving me,
The wonderful gift of love,
Which is so wonderful and fair,
And now I know...deep in my heart,
That you will forever be there

(Perhaps you will be surprised that after having worked as an escort of different sorts...pre-op ladyboy...castrated shemale...and now female escort...the majority of my clients continue to be my former students, fellow-teachers, neighbours and boyhood schoolmates. Tourists from Europe and America are prepared to pay more for hiring my services, but the danger of contracting sexually transmissible diseases from such foreigners is so very great  and real that some of my escort friends have actually died because of bacterial infection. 

Furthermore, Master is a rich businessman and He wouldn't like people to ever know His identity or the fact that He had castrated a male secondary schoolteacher...me...to make 'him'  work as a 'her' ... as a ladyboy escort...albeit on a voluntary, contractual basis.

As I had worked as a part-time teacher for at least five years...from my matriculation year up till the year when I got my degree...I had had hundreds of boy students, mainly from a boys' school I used to teach at continuously for nearly four years. I have had lots of schoolmates and teachers too, and there was indeed no need for me to run the risk of contracting an S T D, or sexually transmissible disease, since the relatively disease-free  pool of my clientèle is already so large.)



Picture A  : Soon after my castration, a very naughty student of mine...who I often made to stand in class for inattention and laziness...was spreading open my butt cheeks to carefully examine my asshole and my castrated penis.


 I was the English teacher of this student for fully four years, from form 2 till form 5.  He failed so often in tests and was so negligent and sloppy in his home assignments that I felt the need to pay his guardian a home visit  to advise him/her  on how to discipline this dark-skinned boy who spent more time on playing football than reading books. 

On arrival at his home, I saw a middle-aged man all alone in the house, doing some wood work. He introduced himself to me as the boy's father. I advised his father...also a dark, strong man...to keep this boy indoors and make him do some housework to make him more gentle and obedient, so he would concentrate on his school work more. If he always stayed indoors at home and wasn't allowed to do outdoor sports, I told his father, he would get better grades at school.

 His father asked me, 'Teacher, your skin is so white and smooth...you look so gentle...was this the way you studied while at secondary school ?' I  proudly said 'Yes' and I told him that my school grades ranged from B + to A throughout my secondary school years because I always stayed at home to read books, and I would be whipped by Papa if I went out to play and darken my skin.' The father didn't respond to my comments and answers but he insisted on shaking my hand to thank me for my help in giving him guidance in parenting. While he was shaking my hand, he put his other hand on my arm, saying, 'Oh so smooth and white...yes you must have stayed at home to do lots of reading.' I got irritated and turned my body  around using my other hand to push him off....but in those moments of confusion I carelessly scooped  down a jade Buddha statue on the family altar table, bringing it crash way down onto the floor.

 The man said that I must compensate him for the damage I did to his Buddha statue, whose head had fallen off from impact. It cost USD 500. I said I didn't have the money and started trembling all over. and in my fear I loosened my grip on my throat, forgetting to deepen my voice  like a male as I spoke, so that I started begging him for forgiveness in my squeaky, high-pitched naturally female voice which didn't break because I had been taking female hormones since the age of 13. The man held me tight with his strong arms and he said he must search my body to see if I had any money on me...I struggled but just couldn't get myself free, because his arms were so strong. 

The man groped my chest and shouted out, 'Hey, you have breasts...you must be a ladyboy...how dare you pretend to be a man and teaching my boy as a male teacher !'  In my country, ladyboys are not allowed to teach at school and would be sent to jail for about a week for ever doing so...I got scared...went down on my knees to say sorry...and asked to be given a chance since I just wanted to earn some money to pay for my university fees...the job was just part time anyway.  

The man said he would let me go if I would strip myself naked and let him take a few pictures of my nude body....I was so afraid of being sent to jail...and so I let him take off all my clothes...in my stark nudity I covered my breasts and my under-sized penis with my hands, standing at a corner trembling all over. I was thinking that he was going to take my pictures...but he said, 'I won't let people know that you are a ladyboy....I won't take pictures, either...but you must suck me off now...I need it now.' Then he pushed his rock hard penis into my mouth and asked me to suck it...I did as he said and he let me go....later I never dared to pay any more home visit for fear of meeting a sex maniac like him.

Years later, now that I am an escort, this  man and his son are now my regular clients. 

(Picture Above  :  In March 2013, i agreed to pay off my embezzlement debt to Master by doing escort work. In my contract with Master, it was agreed that i would NOT be castrated...would be allowed to retain my balls...if i was sufficiently soft, feminine and submissive in the course of my femininization, which started immediately on 21st March, just days after i had signed my slave contract.

 I had no clients to start with, so I emailed my students to ask them to come help me, because I was in debt and would need their help to help me pay it off.  The first batch of my students came... just  seven of them during the first two weeks, every one of them being the naughtiest and most unruly ones in my English classes...and I did just as I was told...you know, all sorts of things...underwent much most intolerable  humiliation...and expected a good, postive feedback from them.

 i needed good client feedback to avoid being castrated by Master. Unfortunately for me, probably out of revenge for having so often  been disciplined by me in class, those first clients of mine...all in my view extremely rude teenagers with very low English standards...gave me very bad comments.  The most common complaints were as follows :


1.  They said that my skin was a bit brownish, and not white and smooth enough.  I had explained to them that this was the first time I had lived full time as a girl, and my life as a man before March 2013 meant that I  did quite often have to go outdoors to discharge some duties given to me by my manager, now my Master.  So my skin became a bit...but really not too...brownish because of sun exposure. Furthermore, I had been taking female hormone pills randomly, and not regularly...as is normal for transsexuals... on a daily basis, so my skin couldn't be as smooth and white  as any girl's. But my students wouldn't accept that as an excuse, and wrote bad comments on my skin colour and texture, saying my skin looked ' just too unpleasantly boy'.

2.  My breasts were not big enough. I had been taking female hormones...yes...but they were not able to significantly enlarge my breasts to that acceptable size  of about 36 inches. -- mine were barely 33 inches at the start of my escort work. I promised my students that I would enlarge my breasts, but were not after all  able to do so despite taking heavier doses of hormone pills, a cocktail mix of several types with  estrogen and estradial  ingredients.

Some students wrote :'Teacher's breasts are so small...nearly same as a boy's.'  It was AFTER my castration that with professional medical advice, I found that in my breast enhancement process, I had entirely  missed out one major female hormone, Premarin, which is a must for breast development/enhancement. 


3. This last comment was the worst. Practically all my students said that my penis was getting hard while they were playing with it, by pulling, pressing and twisting it. 

Actually, my poor pee pee could never get really hard...much less erect... as I had said many times...but while having sex with the boys...who I used to teach and punish...I felt so uncontrollably tense, and that tension ALWAYS  caused me to have this feeling of  needing to pee...not necessarily actual peeing... about every 30 minutes, but as I was not allowed to pee while serving the boys, the urine got accumulated  and  that  created an inner  pressure up inside my penis  to sort of cause my penis to inflate a bit...just a little bit...because I needed to hold my urine back until that normal one-hour booking session was over.

 So I often had this admittedly unsightly  'piss hard-on', which gave my students the illusion that I was getting hard -- without  their permission.

Master forgave me for the first complaints because He did send me...as His administrative assistant... out to deliver documents to other company offices even in the  sunny afternoon hours, thereby somehow having my skin tanned...darkened...a bit. For the second complaint, which was that my breasts were not big enough, Master also let me go on that because He said that i was after all a man, and having a bust measurement of about 33 inches was quite okay for a start. 

 As for the third complaint, Master would NOT  accept  that 'piss hard-on'  as an excuse for getting hard without permission, so that to please my clients...my students...Master had me whipped butt bare for 10 minutes...in the presence of those of my students who had made such complaint... every time i received... over  a continuous, unbroken period  of two weeks...10 client complaints  -- that i was getting hard without permission.

This problem of mine, getting hard without permission, went on and on, and I was helplessly not able to control when and how my penis got hardened. Eventually, THAT was one major reason why Master and His friends decided to have me castrated in December 2013, because (sigh) 'Jennifer's  naughty pee   pee is too often getting hard without permission'. Picture A

(Picture below : A 14-year-old student of mine was toying with  his own  penis with one hand...making it bigger and longer so as to make me feel... by size contrast... the humiliation of having a castrated, uselessly soft,  small penis...and at the same time, he was forcibly fist-fucking...oouuhh...ouch... so very painful indeed (!)... my tight little asshole with his other hand.)

During the 2-year period while I was working as a castrated shemale escort, I was immensely popular with young clients -- the majority of whom were my former students. My attraction for them was mainly that they had all been taught by me for at least one school term during the four years I spent as a part-time teacher at a boys' secondary school near the Malaysia-Thailand border.

They were surprised by how I looked AFTER my castration, and knowing that I had now become a slave girl, they didn't hesitate a bit in, as they said, helping to make me a girl. As a submission escort having been sold to the night club as a bondage slave, I had to accept all kinds of humiliation those young boys were preparing for me.

One of the worst ...and most painful...form of punishments I received for 'shamelessly  faking a male teacher' was to allow the boys to toy with my poor little castrated penis ...they twisted my pee pee round and round...pressed it up  and down...and pulled it left and right..and then waited for such brutally hard-stroking to get my poor penis hard. 

As my poor penis started hardening...just hardening, not erecting because I just couldn't do that...I was to be punished for 'impolitely getting hard without permission'. 

Out of their compassion for me as a castrated slave, most boys just had my butt spanked for 5-10 minutes with a table tennis bat, but a few naughty boys...those tall, dark-skinned boys at the back seats...those whom I used to make stand in class with their hands holding their ears for 'disturbing my lessons' and other acts of  disobedience like sleeping/yawning in class...would FIST-FUCK me, pushing their fingers...at first one...then two...followed by three...and eventually their whole hand/fist was forcibly pushed into my asshole.

That was excruciatingly painful for me...I moaned in pain...begged tearfully for mercy...promised to be more girl and obedient in future...and yet those boys kept  fist-fucking my asshole, sometimes for as many as 15 painfully long minutes. 

On many occasions, one excuse for fist-fucking my asshole was ridiculously...indeed ludicrously...that my skin was too white, and a ladyboy with such snow white skin deserved more punishment since I was just too sissy, much too feminine to be worthy of having a penis-- and therefore, my 'crime' to merit such harsh punishment was  described as a ''5-Star"  one, with one 'S' each for 'shamelessly having a uselessly small, soft penis grown in between my smooth, soft legs !'

As I was being finger/fist fucked by my students, I looked down at my own penis and noticed that it got noticeably retracted each time after I had been humiliated by men. After I had been spanked...ordered to kneel down to suck a client's penis...and then collared to be penetrated doggy style in my asshole, there was a feeling of limpness...and of total incapacity...running all over me, particularly through the length and width of my penis.

 The men/boys liked to swing and dangle their big, inflating penis right at my face...and I was ordered to open my eyes wide to look at this display of raw male power...that made me feel so inferior, as my penis was soft, limp and weakly drooping in between my legs which must be spread wide open to give easy to my clients, or I would be whipped immediately.

 In that way, my inferiority is ...still does..making me feel so very girl, and that strange desire to be obedient to men/boys...to be disciplined or whipped by them if needed be...keeps growing ever stronger in me. 

Yes the boys are naughty...I suppose their intelligence is quite low...their school grades so very bad...but they all have a rock-hard penis, which by itself is enough to make me feel so inferior, dependent and so submissively feminine because when they seize hold of my hair, press my down  on my knees to be fucked, spanked and humiliated by them, THAT  somehow...inexplicably... gives me so much JOY.

Picture A (1)  -This poor little thing, which had become very small indeed in May 2015...just two inches plus...was what most of my clients were looking for when they stripped me naked from the waist down. 

Soft, gentle and obedient ladyboy escorts with a small castrated  penis that has no balls are (still are) immensely popular in my part of the world. By allowing my poor little thing to be toyed with by men,  i had successfully...within  just  a  bit over two years and a half  (March 2013 - November 2015)...  not just to pay off the debt i owned to Master, but had also saved up enough money for my expensive, most complicated sex reassignment surgery.  

But while my poor little pee pee did look increasingly cute   as it was shrinking in size and dimensions...and was indeed a big money earner...I did NOT like having it in between my legs because I could not imagine myself growing old with it still dangling oddly in between my legs.

Master Himself would like me to have my penis with me, and He gave me several most painful suspension whipping sessions for begging Him to allow me to cut off my penis. My students also said that they would stop having me booked if I cut off  my penis.  But  i was insistent and at last Master relented -- my penis was finally (oh what a relief) cut off in November 2015.

Picture A (1) -Frontal View

Picture A (2)  -  Soon after my castration, LARGE NUMBERS of my past students, teachers, schoolmates and childhood friends  were literally pouring over the Malaysia-Thailand  border to have me booked in Songkla, Thailand.

Many of them came to see me as part of an eye-opening tour,  NOT necessarily to have sex with me, but just to take a look at my castrated penis, and to see what changes my body had gone through in my MtF transition. This was what my castrated penis looked when my butt was turned way  up to be probed and examined by a 15-year-old student of mine.

 Like practically every other client, he asked me all sorts of 'unavoidable' questions as to why I went through castration, and why I would like to be a girl at all  -- stuffs like these.

He wouldn't stop asking me this and that until I MUST tell him the truth that I couldn't get hard...I was raised as a  girl at home...would be whipped if my skin was not kept white and smooth or if I didn't sit down to pee or fold my legs as I sat, like any girl...at home must put on girls clothes to do cooking, cleaning, sewing and embroidery like any girl...so I became soft, timid, dependent and sissy...eventually becoming so girl that I became interested ONLY in men, and to attract men, I must cut off my balls and take female hormones to become even more femininely attractive and submissive. I MUST  also embarrassingly admit that I liked being obedient to men and be fucked and spanked butt bare by them. 

All my past acquaintances...those teenage students of mine in particular... would  ONLY accept these as the answers they would have expected from me, and then that most disturbingly annoying questioning session came to an end.

You will note that the SKIN SACK that used to hold my balls were still there, hanging rather loosely at the base of my penis from this angle. The skin tissues of this sack must be preserved, the doctors said, so later on when my penis was also  cut off, there would be enough materials with which to construct my new pussy.

 Some T-girls, for aesthetic reasons,  make the mistake of having this skin sack completely cut off  as well when they are castrated, so they will be left with not enough material for pussy construction later on. That will inevitably result in the construction of a pussy that unfortunately will lack both depth and width, -- and the overall flexibility of the virginal canal... in particular, its suction power in reaction to penis  penetration...will correspondingly be reduced, and very much so at that. 

Picture A (2)  : Bottom-up View

Picture A (2)  : This is the frontal side  view of my newly constructed pussy. With the removal of my penis, I am now able to easily keep my my pussy free from unsightly public hairs by simply applying onto it hair removal cream, and those unsightly little hair stubs that used to grow and gather at the base of my penis were not wiped off along with that poor little thing. 

If you really want to spot a difference between my pussy and the pussy of any genetic girl, you may notice that the SLIT of my pussy opens up at a slightly higher point, or at a higher altitude, than that of a genetic girl.  My pussy slit looks rather longish, that is, but distinctly tight-looking because of the additional ligaments and tissues padded there to get it curled up and firm at both sides of the slit. 

Incidentally it was only immediately after I had had my pussy constructed that I found out...by looking at my own pussy...why a person of the female gender is called a 'girl' -- a 'girl' has a curled bottom and is no doubt a 'gurl'.

  Picture A (3) - Side view of my  new pussy

Picture A (4)

Picture A (4) a closeup, frontal view of my newly constructed pussy which has a slit that looks tight and fresh, like that of a teenage girl in the prime of puberty. The hairs at my pubic area were removed by electrolysis. 

As the process is a painful process... involving as it does  the destruction of all hairs at their roots and hair capsules...it was done on my pussy bit by bit  over a period of several weeks by a electrolysis specialist specially trained in removing the body hairs of transgender people like me.

 ANY surgery connected with MtF transition is frightfully expensive, and escort work is  in my case  indeed  needed to help make the money  for over a dozen of  major and minor surgeries that MUST be done  on my body for full MtF transition can be successfully completed.

Picture A (5) - This is another closeup picture of my newly constructed pussy showing its neat alignment with my asshole . Modern medical science is such wonder that no scar whatever can be seen at the place where incisions were made to cut off my penis for pussy construction.

 The thumb you see in this picture belongs to a 16-year-old boy who used to be in my form 1 history class. It is his request that his thumb be shown so he can show off to his classmates that 'he has fucked the butt of that male history teacher who has turned into a girl.'

Pictures B and C - Because I had taught for nearly four years as a part-time teacher, I am never short of teenage clients who cross the Thailand-Malaysia border to be, as they say,  F B I, 'female body inspectors'. 

You can see from the size comparison in the pictures below that had I remained  a boy, I really would have had no future since every body part of mine...from shoulders , body width and legs to arms, hands and fingers...are so much smaller than those of my boy students.

I thank these students of mine for consistently being so supportive of my MtF transition. Yes they have all humiliated me in many different ways. I am...still am...being made to kneel down to suck their penis, and then they quite often spray their cum...and sometimes...urine onto my face. Some boys make me crawl around on my hands and knees...have me collared and chained like a dog...and then I have to lick their toes the way a dog does its master. 

But the greatest secret behind the success of my MtF transition is the complete acceptance of my inferiority as a girl...being ready and willing to kneel down at the feet of any man/boy to be humiliated, fucked and/or beaten up to give men's fun, excitement and pleasure.

The more inferior I am made to feel...helplessly being stripped naked to allow my tits...and whatever there is at my butt cleavage  to be toyed with by men...the more girl I become. 

True femininity, in my view, has its foundation on dependence, submission, inferiority and helplessness. Male pride, assertiveness, aggressiveness and the desire to be free and independent...which used to be embedded in my personality...have been steadily eroded by the groping hands, waving whips and the rock hard penis of my students who never hesitated to remind me that I was NOT a boy...definitely not 'man' because I have never been able to get hard enough to fuck any girl in my life...I need to put up my hands , or have their bound with a rope,as a gesture of my total surrender whilst the boys are removing  my bra to apply clamps onto my nipples...taking  off my panties to use clothes clips on my penis (when I still had it) -- and oh, that humiliating butt plug is (still is) always with me in my asshole to get me ready to be ass -fucked. 

Picture B : Every weekend, teams of F B I, 'Female Body Inspectors' travel across the Malaysia-Thailand border to 'inspect' my progress in MtF transition. Initially I couldn't help pushing off the groping hands of these boys as their hands, rather coarse, were making me so very itchy at my sensitive spot where, as you can see, all the hands are concentrated. Now I am using my will to force raise my arms, so I won't impolitely cause an offence to these young boys by pushing off their hands.

Picture C  :  My boobs are objects of great curiosity for the boys as when I taught them, it was quite obvious to them that I didn't have them, for I had made my chest flat like a male one by having tight bandages tied and wrapped around them, pressing them down to simulate the flat chest illusion. 

As the boys are removing my bra and caressing my breasts, I usually have to explain to them how I used to so successfully keep my boobs from view. Their response to that...what they see as my 'naughtiness'...is usually having me pressed at my boobs, making me so very itchy all over.

My students are generally very curious regarding whether the hole leading to the entrance to my pussy can leak out fluid when stimulated. 

Most boys when they first arrive believe that I can't cum the way girls do, and so experiments are often done on my new pussy with a small vibrator being inserted into it, and then it is tuned to the maximum volume to see what that can make my pussy react. 

Generally I do cum,and my students clap hands when they see fluid leaking out from my pussy...at first just in bits...and then if the boys persist in caressing my pussy lips with their big, coarse-skinned fingers...the friction thus created...in combination with the vibration from the drilling of the vibrator...eventually succeeds in making me cum in torrents.

 It must be admitted that when I cum,  I feel hugely relieved, such as I never could have felt when I had had  a penis, which had not been allowed to cum since my castration in December 2013.

 I do understand that men would have preferred me to have a penis, because it does look exotic on a girl's body, but  my experience as a  castrated shemale having served clients for nearly two years evidently shows that there was much tension building all inside me since after castration...with the removal of my balls...I just couldn't cum, and being able to  cum is so very important for releasing tension. Now that I have a pussy, my virginal canal  can secrete fluid when my pussy or pussy lips are stimulated...preferably with men's big, coarse hands...I DO can cum, and the comfort, satisfaction and joy of being able to do that cannot be described in words.

             ----------------------------------------------------

(Picture Below : The cutting off of my penis was a MUCH more painful surgery...immensely more complicated...than castration. Whereas after I had been castrated in the morning, I could walk out of hospital in the same evening, the cutting off of my penis caused me hemorrhage, which meant that blood just kept flooding out from that deep incision made at the spot where my new pussy was constructed.

So  for days and nights after my penis had been cut off, I suffered excruciating pain, which felt like a small fire was forever scorching my butt cleavage, all over, and that pain spilled into my whole body, making me sob, cry, twist and turn in bed.

 Fortunately, Master and His six close friends were at hand, and for more than four weeks They took turns to attend to my needs...such as helping me to urinate from a tube inserted into my new pussy...giving me whole-body massage to ease my pain...and eventually I recovered after six long, painful weeks, during which it seemed every cell in my body was in dissolution, gasping for its last breath.) 

 My penis looked  submissively soft about  eight  months after I had been castrated for disobedience in December 2013.  My testicles were clearly missing, and my penis had shrunk in size to just two inches plus (permanently soft)  --  down from its pre-castration length of about three inches plus when stroked to become hard. THIS cute penis of mine was what the boys in the above pictures were really looking for as they stripped me naked from top to bottom. 

Castration doesn't involve the removal of the penis, and only the testicles, or the balls, were cut off at their roots where the ligaments, tissues and blood vessels connected with  the penis were all cut off and taken out -- and  so the penis collapsed...gradually over a period of several months running up to about a year... like a building without a foundation... to gradually atrophy to become very small, soft and short, which in my case wasn't even long enough  for me to stand to pee. 

At home with Papa, I quite often stood to pee when Papa was not around, and at school I had been standing to pee until form 4 when three of my schoolmates...who knew that I was ladyboy...began forcing me to sit down or squat to pee. After castration, one of the most humiliating punishments I received from the boys was to require me to stand to pee into a rice bowl placed in between my legs. 

Because of the shape and size  my penis was in after castration, urine would just pass and slide down my thighs...making my legs and feet very messy...when I stood to pee. But the boys liked forcing me to drink several big cupfuls of water...and after half an hour...I begged to be allowed to pee, but I was only allowed to stand to pee, and must try my best to pee into the rice bowl placed in between my legs on the floor.   Despite my best efforts, I usually got everything ...legs and floor...very messy, not to say hitting on  target the rice bowl placed  beneath my feet.

 I apologized for that but that didn't stop the boys from having me spanked on my butt and my poor little penis also  ..most painfully...received a few lashes from a small rod which the club manager gave to the clients for punishing my penis in case it was found to be naughty -- like it  getting hard without permission or  my standing to pee,  which... as has been described...  in most cases was  unfairly  FORCED on me to give the client a sexciting  excuse to have me collared...and spanked...in preparation for, as usual,  my being penetrated doggy style on my hands and knees.

 Because my penis had become so small, the boys humiliated me further  by calling me by the nickname, 'Short Tail White Doggie', and they attached a little bronze bell to my poor penis, so when they towed me round the room...on my hands and knees... with a leash attached to the collar on my neck...the little bell kept ringing, and at each 'ding-dong' sound made from the bell,  I had to  synchronize it by barking  like a dog...'uuwooouuwoo' like that ....as soon as the bell  ringing sounds were heard from my crawling movement. 

All the while, a butt plug was being pushed in and out of my asshole to get me ready to be penetrated in my asshole. The boys liked pulling and pushing this butt plug in and out of my asshole many times over as I was barking to get in tune with the jingling of the bell. The force with which they pushed and pulled that butt plug was quite often excessively great, and so I had to involuntarily moan in pain, making 'ohohuhuh' sounds even as I was barking. 

The mixture of those three sounds...the 'ding-dong' bell sounds, my barks and my moans from pain....turned an otherwise quiet bedroom rather 'noisy', as the boys said, and remembering those schooldays when I punished the boys for being 'noisy' in class, they ordered me to kneel at their feet with a wide-open mouth, into which they lined up to cum in loads --and then they urinated into my mouth, one by one.

 I often carelessly dropped some cum and urine onto the floor, and the boys ordered me to wipe and scoop everything on the floor clean and dry with a piece of sponge attached to my penis which I laboriously  used to brush and absorb the two types of fluid on the floor. I must do all this, as they said,  'women's work' quickly ...without complaint... as one of the boys was holding a rod, and he was ready to cane me on my butt if I was found 'too slow'. 

Some boys go the whole length of forcing  me to lick dry the cum and urine on the floor...the mix of cum and urine makes the the sticky, thickly opaque fluid smell like dead fish with a bitter, almost biting, taste...it is so hard to dry it completely with my tongue, so I often go down on my knees and start sobbing...with tears running down my cheeks like a baby...begging for mercy...when I am required to do that. 

Nine boys out of ten, seeing that I am crying so miserably, will just let me go --then of course (sigh), there is always that one single exception, with there occasionally being one boy who insists that I must lick everything dry, and then, although I am tearfully on my knees begging for mercy,  I get whipped on my butt again and again for not drying the floor property and completely.

Perhaps a note must be made here, which is  that throughout such humiliation, I felt... just 'felt'...not physically real... but  intensely felt ...that my penis was  retracting from my being humiliated.

In my view, feminine submission to ...and acceptance of...male domination has its origins in a girl's being systematically humbled, humiliated and disciplined, so that in the ruins  of her pride and dignity are gradually sown the seeds of such  sexciting  feminine traits as   humility, submissiveness -- and that natural willingness to be disciplined... like a child... by men. Femininity is in my veiw 70 per cent made -- just 30 per cent born.

Picture D

Soon after i had signed a contract to become Master's slave girl, He arranged, in early November 2013...just one month before my castration... for me to be sold to a night club  in Songla, southern Thailand...just across the border with Malaysia where my home was...to work as a castrated shemale escort. 

The night club manager wanted to see that I was ready and willing to serve men  on a full-time basis. He was aware that I had been a university-educated teacher, and  he felts that my male pride might prevent me from giving the satisfaction needed by my clients. Master assured the club manager that i had already been feminized and well trained in doing all sorts of women's jobs...cooking, cleaning and giving men body massage...and in particular,  my penis was attractively small, with my asshole being tight to guarantee satisfaction to men. He also promised the club manager that i would be castrated to add to my attraction. He guaranteed that if the manager was looking for a small-cock ladyboy escort, I was the ideal choice, as castration would eventually cause my penis to considerably shrink in size.

The club manager then pushed up my maid uniform skirt, and was satisfied that my skin indeed looked very smooth and  white. I noticed that the way my penis was curled and pulled back by a tight bandage  ...to show my submission...caused  him to have a big erection beneath the fly of his trousers. He murmured to him, 'Yes...very small indeed.'

He asked me to repeatedly push and pull  a but butt in and out of my asshole to see how willing I was to be penetrated there....I obediently pushed in that plug which had the sort of suppleness and elasticity that soon made me moan to release the tension...and pleasure too...building up down there by those drills that I was giving myself in the asshole. The manager smiled and nodded,' Nice sweet girly voice...nice.'

The club manager was at last convinced  that I was ready and willing to work.  I was then  taken inside a bedroom to be stripped naked by the club manager who asked me, 'Do you like being whipped on your butt ?' Master had told me to say 'yes' when such question was asked, so I said, ' Yes.' The club manager took off his waist belt and asked me to bend over at a sofa, and then  he took off the tight bandage holding my penis in place to let it go free...and then he began having me whipped on my butt...with each lash impacted on my butt, I voluntarily  said, 'One lash more, Sir...thank you Sir'  -- to please him, despite the pain I had just got. 

I got six lashes on my butt, and the last lash was on my penis, which made me cry out in pain.  I begged him not to have me whipped at my penis...it was too painful. ..he said, 'Okay...okay...girl, but you will soon get used to it. You like to be an obedient girl, don't you ? '  I nodded my head and again said, 'Yes'. 

Eventually, Master had successfully sold me to the club manager  for a period of three  years, from November 2013  till  November 2016-- for a cash  lump sum the exact amount of which i  am  not allowed to know even now.  Master agreed NOT to cut off my penis for at least two years...at least until November 2015... to enable me to work as a castrated shemale escort. I had fulfilled my part of the contract by NOT asking for the removal of my penis until November 2015 when ...at long last...oh finally...I had the freedom of choice to cut off my poor little thing.

Some of my clients are very young...they don't come by themselves but are taken along by their fathers or brothers so they can get some sex experience which may help them to grow up to become 'real men'. 

 The boy who was having me fucked in my asshole in the picture...Picture D... was just 12 at the time when this picture was taken in mid-2014, six months after my castration. I used to teach him world history when he was in form 1. 

He was a naughty boy, openly...though most quietly... calling me a sissy in class because of my fair complexion and small, delicate hands  -- which he sometimes purposely touched when he took his history maps to the staff room for me to guide him on how to trace the different battlefields of Napoleon on a sketched drawing. 

He asked me to hold his hand tight  and steady so he could more easily identify the battle sites on the map. When I found that he purposely stroked the back of my right hand which was on the map, I spanked him in class for rudeness. 

Soon after he had heard that I had been castrated, he himself travelled across the border...just by himself... to have me booked, and then he mercilessly had me spanked for having spanked him. He asked me to put  up a standing mirror in front of the bed, so I had to undergo the humiliation of seeing myself...an adult and a  former teacher...being fucked by a small, teenage boy. 

I tried to close my eyes and not looking at myself in the mirror, but he scolded me...slapped me on my face. left and right,  and butt, left and right too...and said that if I didn't open my eyes to admire the prowess of his strong penis in the mirror...plugged deep inside my asshole...he would inform the club manager about it and I would be whipped -- usually at least 10 lashes on my butt for such disobedience. The club manager's rod is long and firm...it hurts a lot...so I immediately went down on my knees...with my hands holding my ears..and I licked the feet and toes of the boy to apologize to him for my disobedience. 

At first he refused to forgive me and was preparing to press the call button to ask the club manager to come have me whipped....in my anxiety I kept caressing my own nipples to seek release from the crushing tension felt at my breasts...and my nipples soon stood erect...which turned the boy on, and he said, 'Okay, Teacher, I won't punish you...but now open your eyes...don't ever close them !'

So I had to open my eyes...I must have been the only transsexual teacher in the world to have been fucked by so very young a boy.

On the other hand...from a pragmatic point of view...having boys so very young to be my clients help sustain my livelihood because this same boy, who had me fucked and whipped two years ago, is still less than 15 even now, and he is inviting the many other boys in the class I once taught to come to Thailand to have me fucked.

I keep seeing in his Facebook posts like this - 'Hi, our form 1 English teacher is now a girl with very pretty and white skin...come join me to try her.' Then he also helps upload some of my recent pictures...with clothes on...to invite other boys to join him in his 'Fucking Teacher Asshole Thailand Trip', which is still being organized every weekend. 

Another secret you may not know is that I MUST have regular sex with men/boys to keep my newly constructed pussy running like a highway without traffic jams. Soon after the removal of my penis, almost nobody came...and then I felt my pussy sort  jammed here and there, with there being most definitely certain unseen small 'clogs', which were  somehow not felt even if I probed my fingers into my pussy.

 I asked a Thai doctor for advice and he said that I  would need to keep some sort of tubing inside my pussy at least for some time every day...for about eight to twelve months... so my pussy could be kept open. If I don't use some sort of tubing...the penis is in fact  the best tube there is ..to sort of prop up..and hold in place through friction... the general suspension of my pussy canal, it might...would...get jammed or even dangerously closed up after some time.

So during the dreary months after my sex change surgery...when I had not a single client...I wrote to this boy, asking...begging...him to have me fucked...he did come...and is still coming...and cumming inside my pussy which really needs his penis to keep it open and smooth-running.

The doctor had me penetrated in my butt so as to turn me on to get hard enough to ejaculate the needed sperms samples for making the  young wife of one of Papa's middle-aged friends pregnant--through an artificial insemination procedure.

One day, not too long ago in October 2015...just before my surgery to have my penis cut off...this boy took along a Facebook friend of his from Singapore...to have me spanked, bathed and then penetrated. He was a small-looking boy with fair skin, just a bit over 11 years old, and looked uncannily like me when I was at the same age, except that he was taller, nearly at my height, which is 5 feet 3 inches plus. 

He was speaking a Chinese dialect remarkably like mine, and out of curiosity I asked him whether he was from my hometown in Malaysia. But he reacted in a most dominant manner, saying, 'You are just a cheap prostitute, you have no right for ask me such question. You know what to do for being so impolite to me ? ' I said 'Yes', and while still trembling, handed him a table tennis bat which he used to spank me butt bare for 10 minutes...he was small, but his hands were strong and firm, so that I moaned in pain and begged for mercy. 

I held my ears with my hands... tearfully kowtowed to him on my knees, bending my head way down onto the floor...to show my remorse. 

'Suck my toes, and I won't punish you anymore,' he said. That I did, and he smiled, telling me in the meantime that he had played with lots of ' shemale trannies'  like me because his father wanted him to grow up to be a real man, not a sissy like me.

 He then  said, ' Be a good girl...now let's go to the bathroom ...I want to wash your little penis and asshole before I fuck you.' So I tried immediately to walk to the bathroom, but he said, 'Don't walk...get down on your hands and knees to crawl to the bathroom like a dog.'  Which I did, but probably because I was crawling too slowly, he removed his waist belt and had me whipped on my butt, two lashes on each of my butt cheek. He then put a dog's collar on my neck so he could just drag me into the bathtub by   holding onto my collar.

While he was bathing me...and having my breasts squeezed hard...really hard... his fingers kept swinging my  poor penis left and right like the pendulum of a clock...he was in excellent moods because of my  obedience.

 He said that his father had told him  to go all the way  from Singapore to southern Thailand just to have me fucked...for reasons he wasn't told...  probably in his view  I was indeed very sissy...very soft, gentle, dependent and obedient.. which would consequently remind him  that he should grow up to be a real man showing  male pride, toughness and independence.

Without being asked, he told me that he was indeed from my hometown, where his father grew up. His father was a much older man in his late 60's but his mother was young, and she was also from my hometown in northern Malaysia. He said that his father was my neighbour when he was living in my village, and that he used to visit Papa while I was still in junior secondary school as a boy of 13. 

He then briefly described to me how his father looked before he had me fucked really hard in my asshole while squeezing and stroking my penis with his hands -- I noticed that his hands and his penis were small, and shaped very much like mine. 

While he was penetrating me, he gave me lots of 'advice', telling me since I still had a penis, I might as well go back to being a boy...it was all my fault ending up like this...being fucked daily by men...I should have, he said, done more physical exercise and made myself strong, and then I wouldn't have 'ended up like this'. 

Before he left, he asked me to suck him off, and then he shot his cum loads  onto my face....as I was licking his balls to make him cum, I noticed that the shape of his cock was exactly like mine, because my left testicle used to be noticeably larger than my right one.

The boy came just that one time, and has... fortunately for me... so far not come back...I hope he will never ever come back to have me booked again. I remember from his description of his father...like eyes and facial shape...that his father was indeed one of Papa's close friends.

 Papa used to invite this friend of his to have tea at our home, and once, while they were chatting at the sitting room, I heard the man, that boy's father, said that he had a young wife, but because of his age he couldn't make her pregnant, and he wanted to have an offspring, boy or girl, so he asked if Papa would allow my sperms to be used to inseminate...make pregnant...his young wife.

 Papa was just starting to train me to be a ladyboy, and I was being required to take female hormones on a daily basis...I was looking pretty with creamy white,  smooth skin, and the man would like to have a child who looked like me. Papa said that although I looked pretty and was obedient, I was too feminine and weak to donate my sperms...I just couldn't get hard. But his friend insisted, and handed Papa a cheque to buy my sperms, and so Papa relented because it seemed that the amount of money he received was quite large.

Since I was not able to get hard, Papa and that neighbour...that boy's father...took me to a clinic where the doctor asked me to watch a porn video in which a boy was dressed in girls clothes and then fucked as a girl, and THAT made me get hard, and then I ejaculated a few drops of my cum into a small glass tube provided by the doctor.

Quite a bit of my cum seemed to be needed...and certain cum droplets were apparently too watery or thin to be of use. So to collect additional, alternative samples,  I was taken to the clinic for five times in succession over a period of three weeks.  It seemed that it was only in the first sperms donation session that watching a porn video had any effect on me. 

In the second session, I was unable to get hard enough...if at all... to ejaculate anything. Papa's friend asked Papa what could turn me on -- Papa said that I could more easily turn hard if I was fucked by a man in my asshole as if I were a girl. Papa wouldn't agree to have me fucked in full view of his friend and the doctor. And the man, Papa's friend, said that he himself had an erection problem. 

Eventually Papa's friend agreed to pay the young doctor-in-charge a sum of money  to have me fucked so I could get hard to ejaculate the needed amounts of sperms. Initially the doctor refused as that was too unprofessional, but then Papa asked me to take off my breast wrappings to show the doctor that I had breasts -- the doctor touched  me on my breasts, saying, 'So white, so soft.' So he at last agreed to oblige, and he had me fucked each time I went to the clinic so I could get hard enough to cum enough sperms samples into his test tubes. When my sperms sample was collected for the last time, and while I was leaving the clinic, I saw at the clinic lobby my neighbour taking along his wife...a young woman in her early 20's...to go into an operation room to do some sort of operation, the nature of which was unknown to me.

I remembered that both my neighbour and his wife had very dark skin, and that the young wife had long legs and small, slanting eyes like the boy who had me fucked in October, 2015. I counted the number of years that had passed since that date when artificial insemination of that young woman took place...fully  12 years plus (!)...and if that woman was indeed successfully made pregnant with my sperms, the child born at that time should be about the age of the boy who had fucked me in October 2015. 

I asked my student...the boy who often come (still do) to have me fucked...about the birthday of his friend from Singapore.  I got his name but not his birthday...so I looked at his Facebook...oh he was born exactly eight months after that date when the artificial insemination operation was presumably carried out on his mother 12 years ago -- with my help.

I am so worried that I may someday again by spanked, humiliated and fucked yet again by this same boy who most probably could turn out to be my own son . I let my fellow-escorts know about this story, and wondered if I could refuse a booking from a client I don't want. 

But the girls told me that as we were...on behalf of our respective Masters/boyfriends ...all heavily in debt to the night club administration ...we could never turn down a booking offer, however much we dislike a particular client...which makes me feel very worried, and afraid.

Picture D

(My former students who I used to teach as a male teacher, are most enthusiastic...almost obsessed with...helping me to keep my virginal canal open up to, as they say, the deepest possible limits. I would have preferred NOT to have my  pussy probed in this way....very painful indeed because some students put a whole HAND inside my pussy...but they are so insistent, and as a submissive slave escort, I have no choice buy to take in all these brutally painful DRILLS to give depth and accommodating capacity to my new pussy.

 Refusing to allow my pussy to be probed and finger fucked in this way may well cause me to be whipped on both my tits and my butt by the boys, and that would be even more painful. Normally at least three boys are needed to administer such drills INTO me, as the drilling pains often cause my four limbs  to impolitely wave and struggle all over, so that one boy would need to hold me by my wrists, the second one will need to have me spreadeagled and held at the ankles, while the third will probe and drill into my pussy to give me (sigh) my needed pussy drilling.)

My pussy was not born, but made. That is a fact I cannot change, and as a submission ladyboy escort, this  particular part of my body has to show not just attractive suction power and  suppleness but also depth and elasticity.  

The opening at my pussy...where my poor little penis used to stand...was purposely kept open by a purple-coloured medicinal fluid which the doctors applied onto my wound there soon after my penis had been cut off. That purple-coloured fluid, the doctors told me, prevented the incision ...a very deep cut indeed (!)...made there from healing  and closing up, so that eventually the virginal canal built from the tissues of my penis...and those of  the skin bag which used to hold my testicles...could be normally developed to achieve the needed depth and elasticity -- and so  that the small, artificially opened...and kept opened...  aperture would grow into that love hole which  would eventually  be flexible enough to accommodate any penetrating penis at whatever size.

Although in theory after I had removed the virginal canal formation tubing...a tube I must plug  inside my pussy 24/7 for about a year...my virginal canal shape could eventually be established, I still need to have regular sexual intercourse with men to keep my pussy bouncingly supple and alive to  be FELT , as it were, real. In short, I NEED to be fucked, and my pussy really NEEDS to be probed with the hands and fingers of men to keep it alive, flexible and smoothly  running in reasonably satisfying condition (to men). 

Picture Above : To get my pussy into shape so that  it is indistinguishable from that of a biological girl, I need to undergo this pussy formation procedure once every two days in the first three months following the removal of my penis.

 Cutting off the entire penis is very much different from that simple surgery of castration which I went through in December 2013. Then it was just a simple matter of cutting off my testicles, and after the morning surgery, I was discharged from hospital ...actually walking out of it...in the afternoon.

 But  having my penis entirely cut off, and then having a deep hole dug into where it used to hang onto was a different, and most complicated, matter because it involved the formation of a long, zig-zag pussy canal. 

I lost a lot of blood following the surgery, and the recovery process was anything but normal because the doctors applied a purple-colour fluid onto the large wound created by the invasive surgery of cutting  off my penis, and then had its skin peeled off ...had that penile skin turned inside out...and then pushed  or tugged it back into the hole already drilled into my pussy construction spot, much like planting a tree, with the major difference that this turned-inside-out skin capsule was to be plugged inward into my body  -- supplemented, reinforced  and lengthened by the leftover skin of the loose skin bag that used to hold my testicles. The purpose of applying that purple-coloured fluid onto and into my wound was to PREVENT normal healing, so the hole drilled would remain open for further pussy formation medical procedure. 

This is an important procedure, keeping the pussy open while it is healing, because if done incorrectly, the new pussy will close up, and that happens quite often in Thailand, where some girls have their penis removed in poorly equipped clinics without the modern technology you see in the above picture.

For two weeks after this painful surgery, I suffered a sort of hemorrhage, with lots of blood leaking, oozing and sometimes just flooding out from my 'pussy wound'. Following two weeks of intensive pussy formation and consolidation procedures...sooooo painful because a big tube with mechanical force was literally drilled into my new pussy....that hemorrhage came to an end.  .

My new pussy needs regular medical checkups to ensure that it continues to grow healthily to the needed width, depth and flexibility desirable to men, by which I mean my clients. During regular post sex reassignment surgery medical checkups, the doctors will insert a SPECULUM into my pussy.

It looks like a filter, but has a microscopic electronic camera that enables the doctors to see the inner growth and development of my newly embedded and revamped penis tissues which are being gradually transformed into the labyrinth-like virginal canal. 

A fluid of unknown name is pumped into my pussy and the doctors can judge...on the basis of how intense that fluid is forced bounce back out from my pussy ...forming outflowing bubbles of differing sizes...to decide whether my pussy has indeed reached the TARGETED depth which I don't really know how much but must be quite a lot indeed, as the doctor seems to be able to pump into my pussy lots of such fluid, for nearly 15 minutes, and large bubbles, like those formed from dissolving soap, keep bouncing out in a chain smoke fashion.

My sex reassignment surgery, which was carried out in Paraguay, is a remarkable success, a living  testimony to the awe-inspiring advances of medical science achieved by the descendants of German doctors who migrated to South America after the military defeat of Germany in 1945. 

This surgery involved retaining a bit of the tip of my penis to form a penis-like clitoris inside my pussy. The tissue leftovers of my penis, along with the skin bag that used to hold my testicles, were used to construct a a virginal canal at least in my view 7 inches deep -- since it is measured to be about that by the 8-inch penis of a black man who happened to be one of Master's business friends from the United States. 

Major tissues were extracted from my butt cheeks and the inside of my thighs to form the outer and inner lips of my newly constructed pussy, with fresh ligaments being implanted and then firmly mounted  at the closing fringes  of the  pussy lips to hold my pussy opening steadily tight and neat, thereby making it look  like  that  of a teenage girl in the prime of  puberty.

As you can see, there is no way anybody can know that I was once a boy from the way my new pussy looks, and even with repeated finger probing from a suspecting client, nothing unusual can be seen from the outside until and unless my pussy is really forcibly spread open wide to reveal that little penis-like clitoris which is well hidden inside the pussy -- having, as it were, its final repose...a long rest in complete tranquility ...after it...oh, poor little thing...had been -- for no reason at all --  so unfairly punished and mercilessly tortured for so many  years by men.

 (Undergoing MtF transition  to become an escort is  an arduous  process, and  regular consultation and checkup with medical professionals is needed to make sure that I am medically fit  -- and am  free from infectious sexually transmissible diseases. 

The doctors who have special experience in handling cases like mine...with my whole cock having been cut off...are mostly middle-aged men, and I am never free from both anxiety and embarrassment when having my body checked and examined in detail by these men doctors.

 I don't know whether it is really THAT important, but the doctors who conduct regular checkups of my body pull, pinch, twist and stroke my breasts and nipples for fully an hour before they proceed to use their fingers...at first one...followed by two...eventually up to three...to probe and sort of plug into my new pussy.....and into my asshole as well, and they use such force...excessively I seem to feel...to push their fingers very deep up inside my pussy...and asshole too...until I moan in pain. But i dare not complain as they are  friends of Master's. 

The only thing I can do is to cover my pubic area...where my new pussy is...with both my hands, so I don't have that embarrassing feeling of being OBSERVED there.)

One trainee doctor... who was completing his training at the hospital where I was due to be castrated...required me to masturbate...stroke my own penis and balls...to decide, as he said, 'how much anesthetics would need to be applied to my cock before the surgery was carried out to cut off my balls.  

 t

Despite my successful transition from man to woman, I am not the sort of girl that Westerners would consider to be adorable : I am not active but passive, and I am introverted rather than the sort of extrovert that Westerners normally prefer.  Although i am an adult, i am also a slave, so that i am controlled and disciplined by Master more like a little girl at primary school rather than an adult woman with a university education. 

My room is under 24/7 CCTV surveillance, and Master could monitor my  every move from outside my room which is locked from the outside so I can't leave the room without permission. I leave my room to be on call to meet my clients, and  I am outside my room for as long as I am doing housework...cooking, cleaning, serving guests and so on...and then when I have finished doing my work, I need to go back inside my bedroom by closing the bedroom behind me, thereby automatically having myself locked in. 

 I maintain my contact with the world through being online, but since all my Google profiles have been suspended, I now spend my time on reading...90  per cent of time... leaving the rest of my time for masturbation. I find masturbation as a woman most enjoyable. When I had a penis and masturbated, I could neither get hard nor cum, which created HUGE tension inside me. Now that I have a pussy, I can probe my love hole with my own fingers...push and pull my fingers in and out of the hole...and then I can cum. I am sharing here with you all how my masturbation was captured on Master's CCTV surveillance. Master encourages me to masturbate, but not excessively, so that i will stop masturbating as soon as Master enters the room, as you can see from this picture. 

When i became Master's slave in March 2013, i didn't really feel very happy. My original plan was to stay being a crossdresser living the double life of being a boy at day and a girl at night. i found this kind of lifestyle more suitable for me, but that wasn't part of Master's plan,  which was to send me straight into MtF transition. 

There were just two alternatives left for me as a slave - I either retained my full cock with my breasts artificially  propped up by silicon implants so I could be  a shemale escort in the conventional sense. in which case my silicon-gel-implanted  breasts would be sort of hard and unsightly round... like a rice bowl turned upside down... and my cock would be allowed to get hard if needed, it looking  normal  in outward appearance with both penis and balls ; or I took heavy dosage of female hormones to keep  my breasts  soft through   their taking  the natural course of gradually growing larger, and my cock would have to  be castrated leaving me with just a penis and no balls, in which case I would be a castrated  small-cock shemale escort with a very small penis that would keep on shrinking in size because of the removal of my testicles. 

Master couldn't make up His mind as to what to do with my cock which in fact no longer belong to me, but to Master by virtue of the slave contract i had signed with Him. He asked me to send emails to my students inviting them to cross the Thailand-Malaysia border to have me fucked in a house owned by Master just three miles from the nearest border crossing. 

It was a most humiliating trial for me because I was to play the role of being an escort for the first time in my life, and the fee I was asking each student to pay was just merely USD 5 for fucking me in my face and asshole, as well as for squeezing my tits and having me spanked for five minutes in each half-hour session --in short I was charging them at less than USD 1 for each service rendered.

 That was virtually a free offer, and hundreds of my students sent in replies expressing the  wish to have me fucked. Master asked me to send in the names of about two hundred applicants, and i was asked to give each of those students a conduct grade, ranging from A (attentive and obedient...never punished by me) to F and G (noisy, naughty and often severely disciplined by me). 

i was expecting Master to pick the nice, obedient boys to have me fucked...but to my surprise the thirty students selected to have me fucked..almost for free...over a 3-month period, from March 2013 to early June 2013 ...had all been graded by me to have either an F or a G in conduct and class behaviour. 

i begged Master to change the name list, but was  flatly  refused because Master thought that naughty, poorly disciplined boys were usually more vigorous, more virile --more 'boy'. Master wanted to see how my cock reacted when i was spanked , humiliated and then fucked by those naughty boys.

Without going into long-winded details regarding how these naughty students of mine punished and humiliated me, I was driven to desperation when Master got back the client feedback questionnaires from those boys. The boys were unanimous in their view that I must be CASTRATED because they noted to their dismay that my penis had the nasty habit of getting hard (see the above picture) while I was being penetrated in my asshole.

I had been having this uncontrollable hardening of my penis   ever since I had had  my very first contact with the first man who  fucked me at a street corner long ago when I was 13. Somehow I got turned on by having my asshole penetrated by a rock hard penis. My own penis couldn't have that functional erection, but it got visibly hard, turning erect a bit -- just a bit, but that was an erection nevertheless.

 When I knew the result of the survey, I got furious at all 30 of those naughty boys. I closed my thighs tight...kicked and struggled...to deny their entry into me when they came back to have me fucked again. My balls were my balls, I shouted at them, what right did they have to suggest having me castrated ? The boys complained to Master, and they were authorized to use a small whip to punish me at my cock...my penis in particular...if ever I dared to struggle again. 

Being whipped at my penis was most painful, and one lash from my student was enough to send me screaming in pain...I went down on my knees to apologize...and this penis whipping punishment only came to an end when, at a full gathering of all  30 student  clients, I knelt down in front of them and then begged them...with my head bowed down...and in  tears...  to help me sign a support statement which I would need to pass to Master -- with their counter-signatures. The support statement read : 'I want to be a girl...I want to have my  balls cut  off so I can become  quiet, soft and obedient like a girl'  Signed Jennifer Yvonne Lee...Countersigned and supported by ... xxx etc...the names of all 30 of my students.

MtF transition is a physically exhausting and mentally draining process. Quite apart from the top and bottom surgeries, my face MUST also be feminized to make it look convincingly feminine. The two surgeries that I  did was 1) the leveling/flattening of my brow bridge by shaving off my brow bridge bones 2) the shaving of my chin bones so my face will have a more V-shaped female shape. 

The one surgery which I still haven't done, but which I would very much prefer to have, is to undergo laser treatment to remove my myopia. I became short-sighted while still in secondary school because reading was the only option open to me whilst being  housebound to do housework -- and not being allowed to do any boy, outdoor exercise. But whereas men are supposed to look respectable and handsome with glasses on, women...girls in particular...are NOT supposed to have glasses on at any time, particularly if she is on her knees  to serve men in the bedroom.

 Master was thinking of taking me to undergo eye laser treatment to enable me to see clearly without having glasses on. Then He found that i had this one (very) nasty hobby of writing different kinds of stuffs online. At first He didn't find anything wrong but when he noticed that i was getting practically all my email profiles and youtube accounts suspended because of the stuffs I had uploaded, he decided that  not only would i not be allowed to have laser treatment, i would also not be allowed to wear glasses without permission. 

Master is now restricting the time periods during which I am allowed to read and write. He is keeping my glasses so i need to ask for my glasses in case i need to write something, in which case He will also know what i am writing, just in case i say something stupid....and i AM stupid, as you already know very well.

Master took me to the Republic of Paraguay for the removal of my penis -- and  for naturalization to become a citizen of Paraguay. I had been travelling on my Malaysia passport, using my male name and identity. That caused considerable inconvenience whenever  I passed through customs, and  I must   routinely   go through the humiliating procedure of being pulled aside into a room for body checks by a  policeMAN. 

In Paraguay, I successfully BOUGHT my way to get naturalized as a citizen of Paraguay. I took a Spanish language test before being allowed to get my naturalization certificate. Master helped me to purchase the exam questions...with answers provided...before  I sat the language test. So I easily passed it. Right now, with my Paraguay citizenship, I am legally female, and those troublesome customs checks, questioning and body search at the airport are no more. Apart from that, having my penis removed in Paraguay was necessary for special medical reasons.

Many Germans migrated to Paraguay after the Second World War, many of them were experienced medical professionals who had had plenty of clinical experience in sex change surgery because, for submission training designed for slaves,  many French and Russian prisoners of war were forcibly changed to become women as part of Hitler's experimental surgery programmes. The descendants of  those German doctors developed a marvelous technique by which a small lump of the penis...its tip...could be retained and attached to the little female-looking  pee hole left behind after the main body of the  penis had been removed. This little lump of penis tissues...well hidden inside the pussy and cannot be easily seen unless the pussy is spread out wide in all directions...can get hard to simulate a hardenING penis,  if sufficiently stimulated -- it functioning like a clitoris  taking the physical form of a revamped  penis.

Master said that my clients would be most DISAPPOINTED  if i no longer had a penis, and the retention of this lump of penis-like flesh at the opening of my pee hole...very small yes...but looking like a small penis...would cause my clients to feel interested in me. That little piece of penis-like flesh isn't much, but it would help keep me being attractive to clients who are only interested in shemales. From the outside, my pussy is tight and neat like any girl's, and because it is new, it looks very much like a girl's pussy in mid-puberty -- zipped close and tidy like a lady's purse. But if the client spreads open my pussy, and then uses his tongue to gently lick that little piece of flesh...the remnants of my poor little penis...that lump will get inflated  like a balloon to turn into a penis-like clitoris ready for sucking, stroking  and fondling by men.

It is this little surgical wonder that helps me  stay in the shemale escort business, because to tell you the truth, few...if any... men are  interested in a post-op escort, because post-op ladyboys are simply too female to be interesting. Having said that I am still being paid much LESS than before, because looking from the outside, I no longer have the major attraction of having a  cute, softly dangling penis in between my legs. But once a client has had sex with me, he will keep coming back, knowing that I do have a very tiny penis INSIDE  my pussy. The size of my clientele has been steadily growing again in recent months, and what I still do have is getting known among many of  those clients who have left me because of the sex change surgery I had. 

Now Master is organizing some Biology classes for men/boys with me being the teacher. There are six persons to each class...I can't handle more than that...and then I will appear first in men's suit...complete with tie, shirt, trousers and men;s shoes...appearing in class with a chalk board behind me to explain to them what I have got. I explain to them what MtF transition means and then invite them to take off my clothes to see for themselves what changes I have gone through -- while at the same time letting them see some  interesting contrasts from  my old pictures, in which I appeared  as a man and a teacher. THAT also helps keep my livelihood going, despite my sex change surgery.

The first few months after my castration were like never-ending photo-shooting sessions. My students were all willing to pay a bit more to shoot pictures of my naked body, with special focus on my  castrated penis  -- sometimes quite a bit more depending on the age of my students, with those aged below 18 being normally charged double or triple on grounds of 'specially approved requests from underage clients'.

It was very much embarrassing for me, this uploading of so many nude pictures of mine for public circulation on the internet...with me having been castrated...without balls...so I asked for the permission of my students to allow me to put on a facial mask to  cover up my face, to sort of hide myself. Most students allowed me to cover up my face, but about a dozen of those  naughtiest ones insisted that my full face must be shown upfront when pictures were being taken of my naked body.

Because my life as a shemale castrated escort was too tough...my little pee pee just couldn't take so much pain from whipping INDEFINITELY... I decided out of my own free will to have my poor little pee pee cut off. During the first few months after my castration in December 2013, the number of my clients increased dramatically, numbering not in tens but in hundreds, and it seemed as if EVERY man/boy from my hometown, the secondary schools I once taught at, my university friends...as well as my schoolmates and former teachers and colleagues...were coming over to southern Thailand to have me booked. 

It turned out that my soft little pee pee... shrinking now to less than 2 inches after castration...was my main attraction. Although I myself like my breasts,  my clients very much concentrated instead ...excessively so I should think...on my poor pee pee which they sucked, pinched, twisted -- and whipped with a rod...whenever I met up with them to serve them.

 My body had been SOFTENING  all over, with the muscles on my arms and legs being noticeably gone, my biceps and triceps seemed to have vanished to nowhere, leaving my arms...and legs too...covered with a layer of fats which made my skin look nicer, but which however made me look so very soft, easily attracting my clients, especially the teenage boys, to have me bullied. 

They tied a little  ring round my penis and towed me around with the thin little chain attached to that ring...that pulling of the ring on my penis hurt. Equally terrible was having me punished by having a dumb bell tied to my penis and then requiring me to towing the dumb bell around...the way a cow towed  a plow...on my hands and knees. My conclusion was that unless I had my poor little pee pee cut off, there was no way for me to avoid such painful punishment. So one day in October,  i go down on my knees at the feet of Master, begging Him to help cut off my penis. Master at first refused, as i was earning good money from my castrated state and removing my cute attractive little penis would cause me to lose much income. i took out a rod to ask Master to have me whipped on my butt, promising Him that i would be working harder...would be more obedient...after the removal of my penis. Master gave me suspension whipping for nearly 30 minutes in the hope that i would change my mind. But i insisted, and Master at last relented.

My penis was cut off in November 2014. It wasn't a surgery as simply as castration, as my penis was connected to various main arteries. There was considerable post-operation BLEEDING, lasting for weeks, and the whole purpose of the healing process was to stop the opening at my newly constructed pussy from shutting up like a healing wound, which in fact the spot where my penis once stood was. The doctors asked me to stick  a tube of about 8 inches into my pussy opening. I was not supposed to push all that in, but I was to have that tube hidden at least halfway-- that was, at least 5 inches of the tube must be pushed into my pussy 24/7 ...for several months...thereby making  the new pussy  deep and accommodating enough for any penis penetrating me.

 The process was too painful...I couldn't do it myself...so  during the first five weeks post-surgery, Master had to have me tied to an overhanging steel rod at which my raised arms were handcuffed, and then the tube was inserted into my pussy...almost brutally... amid my sobs and moans as i was begging Master to use less force while ramming it into me.  In the first two months, that kind of tube insertion was just tooooo painful, but I had to take it anyway if I really wanted to be a girl.  Actually I had to keep this tube inside me for months...albeit for ever shorter time periods as the months went by ...and as my pussy opening was gradually taking concrete shape and DEPTH : indeed,  it was just a few months ago that my healing process was complete --and I am not having this tube inside me anymore at this point in time :).

My testicles were cut off in December 2013 to enable me to absorb female hormones more easily. If I had continued to retain my balls, I must take a drug called 'Androgen Blocker', which has the prime function of suppressing the secretion of the male hormone testosterone. This male hormone causes female hormones to lose much of their feminizing effects and is most counter-productive for anybody on MtF transition. 

The removal of my testicles caused a complete stop to the secretion of testosterone. thereby facilitating my femininzation.  My skin became much softer, finer and noticeably whiter. My breast size increased to 35 inches in just 6 months. 

Most of my clients were my own former students, and they didn't hesitate to have me punished and humiliated when I was serving them. In this picture, this 15-year-old boy...a naughty student who I used to spank at school for laziness and disobedience...was having me fucked in my asshole. He had just whipped me...painfully hard... on my butt for having pretended to be a man and then punished him by often making him stand in class -- when I was his teacher. You may notice that my body became very soft-looking all over...seemingly without any muscle...and that was because of the removal of my balls. I became very soft and submissive...didn't dare to argue or be disobedient to men...after my castration, and many boys travelled across the Thailand-Malaysia border to have me fucked, whipped and humiliated.

(Picture Below : I have not been allowed to take my own bath since March 2013, when i was taken into custody by Master for having stolen...embezzled... substantial amounts of company funds from various miscellaneous/petty cash  accounts over a period of six months. I agreed to be trained to work as an escort to pay back what I had stolen from the company.

For four days, from 13 March to 16 March, I was locked  inside a room, totally naked, and sweating all over because of not having taken any bath since being apprehended for my crime  on 13 March. Then Master came into the room, and said that i was going to have a bath, so i  happily went straight into to the bathroom and wanted to close the door behind me. Then i saw Master come in, with towels and a bottle of body wash lotion. Master said,' From now on you will not allowed to take your own bath. I will give you a bath every evening. At any time of the day if you want to clean up, you need to ask a man or boy to help you. You mustn't clean your own body. If you do, you will be whipped.' 

So from that day on till now, i haven't bathed myself for one single time. Asking a man/boy to have me bathed isn't as easy as it may seem, for not every man/boy is in the right mood to help me, but sometimes after doing some dirty housework, I get lots of sweat all over my body, and my perspiration causes me to feel most uncomfortable. 

Once... soon after my castration... my whole body  got nastily oiled after having cleaned the kitchen stove, and I desperately needed a bath. There was just a 16-year-old  boy around ...he was the son of one of Master's friends and was there to wait for his father to pick him up to go to an afternoon tuition class. I didn't know whether I should ask him to bathe me...he being after all so very young. He was studying a Biology textbook and while he was studying, he asked me to get down on my knees to massage his feet. Which I did, and I knelt down at his feet to give him foot massage, starting with his toes. Then the boy lifted up my face and used his fingers to feel my chins, saying, 'You have no beard...why can't you grow beard...I've heard that you are a boy.'

Then suddenly he asked me, 'Are you a boy or a girl ?' I sort of felt shy and...for fear of being whipped for dishonesty...  gave him the answer he needed, 'I was a boy...but my testicles have been cut off for being naughty...so I am now a girl. '.  He then said, 'Sure ?...let me see for myself.'  I said my body was dirty, and it would be better if perhaps he could help me to clean up, so I could let him examine my body to see why I was a girl. 

 So I did get my bath, and that boy took the picture below for keepsake because of his most unusual experience, having a girl with a penis bathed ! His kept stroking my poor little pee pee, which had retracted to less than two inches in length after castration. He kept asking me why my balls had been cut away, so I was forced to tell the embarrassing truth, which was that I had stolen some money...had been captured....and had agreed to have my balls cut off to work as a shemale escort to pay back the money I had stolen. 

THAT turned the boy on, and he had me fucked really hard in the bathroom, for 20 minutes, and afterwards he ASKED to have me bathed every time he saw me, so eventually it turns  out that NOW i am taking up to 8 or 9 baths on certain days, because so many of  Master's friends...and their teenage sons too ...are volunteering to help me to take a bath, even if at times i don't really need it.)

 Female hormones, by making my skin soft, white and smooth, also made me look YOUNG. You can see in this picture that although I am (still am!) in my 20's, I look (still look !) much younger than the little fifteen-year-old boy who was ramming into me. This kind of  rather weird scenario...with me being a former male teacher having undergone castration to be fucked by a young boy who used to be my student...never failed to turn me on. That may be be a kind of perversity, but I LIKED hearing direct from the mouths of these young boys words like these :'Teacher you look so much like a girl...I must now fuck you like a girl.'-- and then I felt that my little  penis, despite castration, started hardening, though it never ever got erect at any time after castration.

 I am the very FIRST male teacher in my part of the world to have undergone castration to become a shemale escort, and in my castrated state, I had many clients, which helped me to pay off the debt I owned to Master in just one year's time.

(In December 2013 I was castrated for disobedience. My testicles...balls...were cut off, leaving me with just a small, less-than-2-inch penis. This was how my body looked from the front, and my small penis was visible in between my legs...very small indeed, but it did look cute at my bottom which was round and bubble-like. 

This picture clearly shows how small my penis was...the extent to which it had shrunken...after castration. The removal of my balls caused me to become very soft and submissive. Whereas I often refused to get down on my knees to receive my needed punishment for being disobedient to clients, now if my clients just shouted at me, I would tremble all over...my manhood courage seemed to have evaporated...and I knelt down immediately without delay or argument as and when required by men/boys  -- and I began to sob and beg for mercy like any girl being punished.  The men/boys all laughed at me for having such small penis...and  they noted the apparent loss of all my pride and dignity...and that made feel so inferior and worthless.

 My teenage students liked saying this jokingly, ' You shouldn't have pretended to be a man, Teacher...your penis is shorter than my little finger !' That made me feel so ashamed, and I was usually required to get down on my knees to apologize for having pretended to be a man with such a uselessly small penis....and then my students as a routine liked having me whipped on my penis...just 3 or 4 lashes at any one time  but as my penis was very sensitive, it was most painful !!)

(January 2016  -- Me ...after multiple top, bottom and facial surgeries ( and after nearly 2 1/2 years on injection-type female hormones at my belly )- 15/3/2013 --1/2016.  Injections administered at both sides of the naval...belly button...enable hormones to be absorbed much more easily into the blood stream than if they are done at the arms or butt cheeks. 

Special dermal hormone pads are also regularly stuck 24/7 at  those spots on my body that matter most to my clients, namely, my breasts and butt cheeks. This carefully concocted, mixed hormones dose of injections, pills and dermal pads helped to give me D Cup + breasts and well-rounded butt cheeks that are yawningly bubble-like enough to enable me to wiggle them at will...left and right...and right to left...to attract male attention. A high level of estrogen (female hormone) gives me the transparently white, thin-looking skin that is needed for attracting men.)

                                                                     

Soon after signing my slave contract on 16 March 2013,  I was required to strip myself naked for a picture taken of my breasts and small cock. This high-definition picture of my naked body...clearly showing my cock with balls, my breasts with typically pink female-looking nipples...and my lily white skin...was circulated online to let those who knew me...as a boy...that I would be going through MtF transition so they wouldn't be surprised when later on I would be working as a shemale escort in southern Thailand.

(Me --January 2014 ...after castration in Bangkok, Thailand  and eight months on female hormones taken orally on a daily basis.  My body didn't look particularly smooth or white in those days. My breasts, at just 34 inches, were just passable by normal female standards. My major attraction for my clients...particularly my students who represented up to 70 per cent of clientèle...was my small penis with its balls having already been cut off.

 Nobody in my hometown in northern Malaysia had seen a castrated shemale before I appeared on the scene, and I never failed to attract large numbers of  men/boys to have me  booked -- some just for an eye-opening chance of seeing me, a castrated ladyboy, in real -- with such a small, almost worm-like,  penis dangling in between my legs, it looking so softly weak, retracted and timid because of having no balls.)

( Picture Below : I started my work as castrated shemale escort in January 2014. The dress Master chose for me to put on was this red one-piece dress which didn't look particular sexy in the soft warm light of the bedroom, but it became starkly titillating once when my body was tactfully exposed, such as when i was standing against a big window that fronted an open street with nothing to obstruct the incoming light.

 In that condition, the transparency of the dress enabled my short, castrated penis to be vaguely visible  just beneath my skirt -- but only just.  So that caused my clients to get curious...and then (hopefully )aroused...and it was important for me to be dressed in a way that caused men to feel aroused, as in the early days of my MtF transition, I did still have many shortcoming in my physical features, such as  having a skin texture that was a bit too coarse for a girl.)

After castration, my little dangling penis was deliberately left vaguely exposed beneath the maid uniform I was required to put on while doing housework. Whenever I served guests, I felt their eyes firmly glued onto what was there...or more correctly,  what was left there...in between my legs.

 Most men...99 per cent I believe...have never had a chance to see a girl like me with a castrated penis, with the balls having been obviously cut off  -- leaving just an obediently weak penis dangling...so very loosely...in between my legs. 

My penis (sigh) was  caressed, touched, squeezed, pinched, stroked...oh in  so many different ways...whipped too... by men for INNUMERABLE times throughout the period from December 2013 (when I was castrated) to November 2015 (when I said good-bye to my poor little penis).

 In my view, my penis was a great trouble-maker, causing me so much pain, although it did give men/boys much pleasure. I never needed it for urination, since I had been trained to sit down or squat to pee like any girl since childhood. I could never get it hard enough to have sex with a girl, and my last girlfriend dumped me...calling me a pervert..because of that. All that caused me to be feel nauseated when I looked at my penis, and I AM so glad that it is now gone and missing (at least from sight) in between my legs/

For a very long period, from March 2013 to November 2015, this was the device normally used by Master...and all other men who cared to pay...to make me more obedient while being fucked -- and to make my penis smaller, so I wouldn't be able to get hard at any time to cause embarrassment to any man.

 At home it was only Master who had the keys to unlock my handcuffs and cock cage, while at the club...where I am (still am)  needed to be totally naked whole on duty to serve men...I quite often (but not always) had to be handcuffed at my hands and bound at my penis in this manner. 

As you can see the cock cage is solidly wired in different directions, and my penis was so very much compressed ...indeed pressurized...inside the locked cage that it...oh, poor thing... became small and soft as a silkworm.

The fact that my penis had to be bound inside such a cock cage caused me enormous embarrassment and shame, as the majority of my clients are (still are) my former students and they often laughed so hilariously right at my face when they saw my penis being humiliatingly bound like this. 

The fact that I had this cock cage on showed everybody that I was NOT  normal  -- yes indeed very abnormal in every possible way ...and while the fact that I was in such condition really very much turned on the men/boys...making them feel so very 'man'... getting their penis so very hard...it made me on the other hand  feel so inferior, because it also clearly showed that I was sooooo helplessly inferior and  femininely submissive.

 I was displayed in public...to every client from as young as 12 to as old as 72... that I was just a penisgirl...not a boy in any sense... and I was not being even allowed ever  to get hard although I did have a penis.  

 Even during those short moments when  I had been freed from the cock cage, I would be spanked/whipped immediately as soon as any client found or felt that my penis was hardening. So because of THAT, when my client asked me whether I would like to have the cock cage taken off my penis, I would prefer to say, 'No...I like it...it makes me so girl.' With my cock cage on, I   could at least prevent any client from having that plausible excuse for having my poor butt  spanked/whipped because of my getting hard without permission.

This strange device...this cock cage...has the effect of making anyone who has it on feel so helplessly dependent, and so girly in a subtle sort of way -- a feeling that gets ever stronger once a person... be it he or she... has had it on for some time, usually over an extended period of about three or four weeks.

I never dared...unless really ordered to do so...to meet the eyes of the men/boys who see me being locked in THIS shameful way, and I was so very much  ashamed of myself for having such a uselessly small, soft and weak penis.  My decision to cut off my penis once and for all in November 2015 was partly based on my DETERMINATION never ever to have this shamefully embarrassing cock cage on me again.

These are  photos taken during my matriculation and university years,...with long girly hair but with my breasts still wrapped tight and bound flat to simulate the flat male chest ... to avoid unwanted male attention, thereby causing suspicion over my male identity which I must keep a secret for enrollment at school and university as a MALE student.

 Schools normally send TS students or ladyboys to remedial classes with poor academic standards and appallingly bad behaviour. The university doesn't accept ladyboys as students. I had always been a good student with top or at least good grades, so it was important for me to have my breasts bound tight and flat - - to keep myself in elitist secondary classes and to seek admission to university.

 My long hair was bound up to form a pony, which is an acceptable  male hairstyle in all parts of the world.

Before having sex with me, my schoolmates would require me to spread out my legs, so they would enter me from the front.

In that position, my schoolmates could make sure that my penis was kept soft and weak throughout the time when I was being penetrated. At times I really got turned on while I was being penetrated, so  that I might have orgasm and I would so very much like to  be allowed to get hard and then  cum to get the needed release.

 But my schoolmates insisted that as I was training to be a girl, I had no right to get hard, and if I did involuntarily get hard or even cum while I was being penetrated, I would most definitely be whipped on my butt afterwards -- for disobedience. 

I found this kind of orgasm denial most frustrating, and often got down on my knees to be given permission to get hard or cum -- but that was ALWAYS denied, so that I got to HATE these three schoolmates of mine very much.

(Picture A : I was at the bedroom of one of those three schoolmates whom I served as sex slave. That boy was very poor in English so I gave him some help in writing and English conversation. Afterwards, I took off my boys shirt and trousers...loosened my hair to let it flow onto my shoulders like any girl's...to get him aroused. As you can see my chest looked absolutely flat,  because to hide my ladyboy identity, my breasts were carefully flattened with tight bandages to simulate the flat male chest.)

(Picture B : During the first two years of my university, I wanted to attract less attention and so I had a short haircut. I looked quite handsome with this haircut, and I was attracting unwanted attention from girls. That made me feel ill at ease, as I liked MEN instead.)

(Picture C : Me - in the final university year : In the final year of my university studies, the call of  wild passions  was taking over me....there was this tremendous desire to dress up as a girl even at DAY. 

Occasionally, when I noticed that there were few people on the street, I would leave the university hostel in male clothing, and then find an isolated spot at a certain deserted street corner to change quickly into girls clothes... I then put my male clothes in a schoolbag I was taking along...loosened my hair...which I now allowed to grow long...and then I had this unquenchable desire that I MUST walk around the street in girls clothes to ease the TENSION all over me. 

I did this kind of  roadside crossdressing at  a district some distance away from my university hostel, so nobody in that district recognized me, and I could play a safe game of  crossdressing. I didn't necessarily need to find a man to have sex with  while I was crossdressing. I need just to walk around and about in girls clothes to, you know, seek release from the unspeakably great tension I was in. If you are a crossdresser and you are reading this, you will know WHAT this tension I just mentioned is.

Contrary to popular beliefs (by most men), a girl's breasts don't grow overnight...it took 2-3 years for breast growth to complete, and often the bust size of a girl is determined by heredity, which means that if one's mother has C cup breasts, one is most likely to have just C cup breasts and no more than that.

 For nearly two years after I  had begun taking contraceptive pills at the age of 13, the development of my breasts was disappointing...not really to me, as I found having big breasts troublesome...but to my Papa, because when he stroked my breasts, they remained for a long time at A cup size. My breast development didn't take the normal  female track until three of my schoolmates discovered my ladyboy identity...that I had been  raised at home as a girl...and they sponsored and helped Papa to give me injection-type hormones which would then gradually bring my bust to D cup size.

It must be stressed that my cock was NOT born abnormally small. When my crossdressing obsession was discovered by Papa at the age of 13,  he made no conscious effort to stunt the growth of my testicles, nor that of  my penis. So when at the age  of 15, the fact that I had breasts...and the fact that I was a ladyboy...was discovered by three of my schoolmates...my cock looked perfectly normal,

 at least in  size.  

Papa wouldn't like the fact that he was bringing me up at home  as a girl to be made known to the  public, and to keep the mouths of my schoolmates shut, he had arranged for me to be the sex slave of those three boys. At first sight, that didn't seem really matter much as however much sex I had with those boys, I couldn't get pregnant as I was after all a boy.

At the pretext of  helping the boys to help them with their school work...which was so very poor...Papa arranged with the parents of those boys to allow those boys to come to our home to study with  me at our home. In return for giving the boys free sex from me, Papa received monthly contributions from them to  help buy me female hormone pills,...to feminize my appearance further...and  some discipline/bondage devices  felt needed to make me more obedient in natural, girl ways. It was at that stage that really serious efforts were made...by the boys...to restrict...'stunt' is more appropriate...the growth of my cock, preferably making it as small as possible in overall size. 

Papa had sometimes used cloth wrappings to tie up my penis to make it soft and weak, but tended to NEGLECT  stunting the growth of my balls...my testicles...so that at 15,  although my penis had been made sufficiently weak...disabled... through several years of hard wrapping and binding, my balls remained significantly large, reaching the normal size generally expected of boys at similar age.

Nevertheless, my schoolmates said that a pretty small GIRL like me must not be allowed to have balls so disproportionally large. They asked Papa to put on me a cock cage , so that not just my penis would be restrained, retracted and weakened, my balls would also be gradually squeezed and pressed to retract to the cute, 'normal'  baby size expected of feminine small-cock ladyboys in my part of the world. Papa said he didn't know what a cock cage was, and hadn't even heard of it. 

The boys therefore went online to purchase from the United States a strange-looking steel cage-like object which was hard wired in such a way that my entire cock was encapsulated and then placed, literally, under lock and key.  I knelt down to beg the boys not to use this cock cage on me, but they refused because....pointing at this picture of my cock,... they just SHOUTED at me...oh I was so scared...I  knelt down at their feet to say sorry immediately...and then they pushed down my trousers...at a hillside while we were returning home after school...and  again  shouted out that my balls and penis were simply too unsightly big, my balls  looking very much like the shell  a TORTOISE with its head, my penis, sticking out in  a most unpleasantly eye-soring way. 

The boys liked having me made up and dressed up prettily and sexily...like a girl at a beauty pageant...when they put the cock cage on me. The cock cage was MOST discomforting and actually painful to my cock, which was then retrained and pressurized by the steel wires from all directions.

The pressure was felt most acutely at my balls which were literally compressed, and my penis was curled and sometimes purposely doubled  back down to its base where it grew up from my balls. I tried to bribe the boys not to use this horrid cage on me, and promised that if they would let my cock go free from this horrible device, I would let them copy my English assignments so they wouldn't be sent to detention by our teacher for not doing their homework properly. But they laughingly replied, in their broken English, 'Yes our English marks  little, but we prefer to have little cock on you. Little cock on Sissy (my nickname) more important than big marks in English.' 

 While having this cock cage on, I had to sit down at the classroom as soon as I reached school...sat there not moving a bit even during the recess...and I drank as little water as possible in the morning to avoid urinating, in which case I would need the get my cock cage key from one of the boys, who would...all three of them...took me to the toilet to watch on how I awkwardly removed my cock cage and then I was not allowed to stand to pee like any boy...I must sit down on the toilet bowl to pee like a girl...sometimes they  however  mischievously suggested that I should stand to pee, but I begged them to allow me to sit down to pee, as the curled, retracted state of my penis...created by the cock cage...would leak the urine onto my legs. 

Sometimes while sitting in class and sitting for my tests and exams, I was in the awkward condition of having TWO bondage devices...the cock cage and the butt plug... on me,  and because of that,  I was forced NOT to have any underwear on to ease my movement at school.

 So I  had to undergo the humiliation of begging the boys to spank me on my butt for  sitting down to pee like a girl although I had a penis. 

It was also at this stage that the butt plug was used on me before I was penetrated. Papa just used  plenty of olive oil to lubricate my asshole before I got down on my knees to be fucked by him, but the boys found using olive oil too troublesome. They purchased online a butt plug which they lubricated all over with a certain lubricant ....available for sale at the pharmacy....and they had it inserted into my asshole two hours before they fuck me in my asshole, 

You might have thought that Papa was a bearded old man. But he was just in his late 30's when Mama died in a car accident -- and when I was 13. Mama was a small woman at just 5'2" and 95 lbs, and a lot of her lingerie stuffs fitted my body like a glove.  When Papa was not at home, I liked putting on Mama's lingerie and looked at myself in the mirror. I was mesmerized by the pretty little girl I saw in the mirror...her skin was so fine and soft, white as snow. I often massaged and stroked my own nipples to get myself turned on. Somehow I found that I couldn't easily get hard like other boys. I just managed the FEELING of hardening while I was thinking of myself as a girl by imagining that the girl in the mirror --my female persona --was real. When my crossdressing obsession was discovered by Papa, he was not angry but totally ELATED, He started having me dressed prettily at home as girl...and in the sexiest lingerie he could find in Mama's wardrobe. 

'

This was me ...at the age of 13 years and a half....standing at the balcony of my home to get a bit of sunshine which was a luxury I didn't often enjoy after Papa had started requiring me to take contraceptive pills on a daily basis to have me feminized.

 At school, Papa had asked the school to have me exempted from physical education lessons on the falsified medical ground of having a heart condition, because it was absolutely  impossible for me to be bare-chested like other boys while practising track sports like running and  football. 

After school, I was always housebound to do housework, not being allowed to take one step out of the house, so my skin could be kept clear and white, without being freckled and darkened by the tropical sun.

After about six months of being on female hormones, my nipples started getting bigger than any boy's and if not wrapped up, would form embarrassingly  protruding, hard-looking bulges beneath my shirt.  I found the panties of girls very tight but sexy, and since I was in panties 24/7...even while at school...I often felt that I was having nothing on there, the nylon material of the female panties was so flimsy and fine  -- but comforting. 

You can see my little pee pee bulging out in between my legs, just beneath my panties, sort of protesting that it was wrapped and tied 24/7  so it couldn't grow any  unsightly larger.

Castration is a much NEEDED surgery for any girl contemplating MtF transition. It is not possible to grow naturally...without hard silicon implants.... large , soft breasts with testosterone being continuously secreted from its manufacturing centres, which are the testicles. 

Taking androgen-blockers (drugs suppressing the male hormone testosterone ) is not practical and very expensive, and having the testicles removed is an easy and convenient way of eliminating...in just one inexpensive, simple cut... the frustrating interference of breasts development from continuing testosterone secretion. 

My breasts measured at just 33 inches...at A Cup...when I was at university and a male teacher. Despite taking daily doses of  female hormones ...under professional guidance...both orally and through injections ...in the period between March 2013 and November 2013, my breasts did NOT show significant growth. 

But after my balls...testicles...had been cut away in December 2013, the female hormones I have been taking begin to have full effects on my breasts development which, like a freshly watered flower, turned from just timid budding to full blossoming because of the complete absence of the counter-productive influence  of testosterone from my testicles --  surgically  cut off in Bangkok  at just USD 800 after I had bargained with the Thai doctors who finally agreed to reduce their asking fee of USD 1,200 by USD 400 --because, as I argued, my cock was really very small !!

 Today, on 31  January, 2016, my bust measurement is 38 inches plus, at D Cup, which is a comfortably attractive size by any standard. 

This is a closeup picture of my butt after I have had butt enhancement surgery in November 2015.

Curvaceous, bubble-like butt cheeks were born, not made, and it isn't possible to acquire a sexily attractive bubble butt by simply taking female hormones.

If your pelvic bones were born narrow, there are strict limits to how wide your butt can spread out  at both sides of your hips  -- even after extra layers of fats born out of hormone intake are added to the flesh at  your hips.  Having said that,  the way your butt cheeks crop upward....and the extent of their spread... could be enhanced by having thigh tissues extracted  and then implanted into your butt cheeks. 

As a submission escort, I am bound by my work to be spanked by men as a regular...almost daily...routine, so that to shield myself as much as possible from the pain inflicted on me I underwent butt enhancement surgery to add to the suspension of my butt cheeks, so their enlarged, extended   overall surface size will lessen through having the force impacted on my butt diffused and diluted from the rod/pad/cane regularly used on it by my clients. 

As a rule, I am spanked/whipped on my butt not because I earn the punishment, but because the punishment imposed on me  is able to give fun, satisfaction or pleasure to my client. The rod sort of bounce back...and re-bounce...upon impacting on my fleshy, round butt.

The above is what my butt looks like when I am in upskirt. I am normally NOT allowed to put on panties beneath my skirt.  Clients like to push up my skirt and use their fingers to probe...and push into...both my pussy and asshole to see if they are neat and tight enough to make them happy enough to have me booked.

 Some men have me booked during their office lunch hour and are in such a hurry that they have me penetrated with skirt on, so that it is important for my skirt to be as short as possible to give men the easiest possible access to my butt cheeks, asshole and pussy, usually in this order according to the way men usually have me touched when inspecting my butt for possible afternoon lunchtime booking. 

(Picture Above - My transition from being a man and a teacher to being a girl and an escort is a most stressful process that involves much excruciatingly great pain and epic-scale tension, so that you won't be surprised that I NEED to be on certain drugs which serve to give me the strength and will to go through it all. 

This yellowish drink, a little bit sweet...but otherwise tasteless...is what I usually take before I need to serve a client who I actively DISLIKE, such as one of my former naughty students. This yellow drink is a concocted mixture of certain aphrodisiac Western drugs and Chinese herbs, which in about 10 minutes after use could make me feel sort of forget myself...forget everything...become drained of energy and yet feeling VERY itchy at all my private parts - my nipples, my pussy and asshole, especially at that whole thick, fleshy stretch of pussy lips where they meet and close up like a lady's purse.

 And I was literally on fire after taking it, with passions running up...all over...throughout  and deep down...sort of 'dug-in'...in every cell of my body. After drinking this , I sort of NEED to be disciplined, humiliated and penetrated...oh yes I need to be fucked...really hard...to ease the tension, the pressure and that irresistible feeling of overwhelming itchiness all over my body.

 I need to to twist and turn my legs, wiggle my butt...keep using my fingers to draw circles round and round my nipples... and putting my index fingers into both my pussy and asshole -- just to EASE the mounting , simply huge,TENSION inside those holes.

So even while serving a typically unattractive client, ....however ugly or repulsive...like one very dark-skinned, foul-mouthed 16-year-old Indian student of mine who has scars all over his body and speaking very poor, broken English which I MUST despise...I would voluntarily do all sorts of most morally degrading things...such as spreading wide open my pussy and asshole...to INVITE him to have me fucked.

This drug is (illegally) imported from China, with ingredients derived from certain sex-drive-arousing German tablets manufactured locally. I first used it soon after my castration when I just began working as a castrated shemale escort...I couldn't put aside my 'male pride' to get down on my knees to serve so many naughty boy students of mine. 

The night club manager forced me to drink this drug before each of my appointments, and then as I had just explained, I turned out to be most humbly submissive to make my young student clients become my consistently faithful patrons :) ^-^

(Picture Above   : This was how my penis looked towards the end of November, 2014, about a year after my castration in Bangkok. 

The complete removal of my testicles made it unnecessary for me to take androgen, or male hormone, blockers, and I was able to  easily absorb female hormones although the daily intake dosage was down to less than half of that I had taken before my castration in December 2013. 

With massive absorption of female hormones into my blood stream, my sk in texture became smooth and soft, with those unsightly male-looking large, coarse skin pores being closed up to minimal, almost invisible sizes. 

If cold water was poured onto my poor penis, it could retract to just about two inches, and it looked cute, soft and weak in a docile way that was attractive to men, particularly my boy students who had seen me having a much larger and longer-looking penis before my castration.  Neatly castrated ladyboys like me are uncommon in northern Malaysia/southern Thailand, and so I was very popular with young clients. )



(Picture Below : My small asshole was being inspected...to see if it was tight enough... by one of my students before he penetrated me. I would have preferred to have a bigger asshole so I wo uldn't have to be drilled so hard by men, but my asshole remained amazingly small and tight throughout ...up to now...and one of my nicknames at the night club where I work is ' Small Asshole Teacher', which is a very embarrassingly shameful address indeed.

 My lily white skin, small cock ...along with my tight, small asshole...were my major attractions. When men had me booked, the first thing they wanted to see was whether my penis was soft, short and small. Small-cock ladyboys are very popular with men here, because there is a belief that small-cock laadyboys are more submissive, which in my view is very true, because I have found out that small-cock ladyboys usually obediently kneel down to be disciplined and/or spanked by men whilst girls with a big, long penis tend to be much more aggressive, at times almost dominant. Which many men dislike.

 The fact that my skin is so very white (still IS) is a big selling point as many ladyboys here have much darker skin. The fact that I have been raised as a girl  since early childhood...always staying at home to do housework and being whipped hard by Papa if I went outdoors to play...does help to keep my skin brightly white and  velvet smooth in a way few other ladyboys from Thailand and the Philippines could match.

When I was a teacher, I purposely rubbed onto my skin some brownish cream to give my skin the tanned, male look which would help me to maintain a tolerably strict level of discipline in class. And I put on baggy trousers to hide my big, round and feminine-bubble-like butt from view. After castration I needed to work as an escort to pay off my embezzlement debts, so I simply must literally take off  all my deceptive devices. 

So the boys I once taught were indeed very surprised...almost stunned...by my prettily soft and white skin, and while on my hands and knees to await going through the humiliation of being spanked and then fucked by my students...who could be as young as 13 or 14... I had to keep saying, 'My skin is very white, Sir...my penis is small and soft... a nice handful to twist, press and turn...or suck, Sir...do use your fingers to poke my asshole...I've just cleaned and perfumed it...it is tight and small Sir...please fuck me there, Sir...it will make you feel good, Sir.'  Fortunately I didn't see the faces of my clients too clearly...because of my short-sightedness...but the laughter I kept hearing from my client...who was often my student...flushed my face red. 

Sometimes while my small penis was being pressed, pulled and twisted by the boys...and my asshole finger-fucked as if being drilled...oh so  very painful...I thought I should have cut off my breasts to de-transition to become a man again --being toyed with like THIS isn't what I would have planned.

It is...always 'IS'...a shameful thing for me to sell my body for money...but I am uneducated. By becoming a girl, I have been required to burn all my certificates and diplomas. Indeed, all my academic qualifications...degree diploma and school certificates...are anyway made null and void -- because they bear my male name. I now have a female name, 'Jennifer', and as 'Jennifer' I am without any academic credential...my records at the night club simply state that I used to be a maid and have not even completed  primary education -- and while working as an escort, I am REQUIRED to speak broken, ungrammatical English to compliment my humble role as  a castrated slave escort.

 Although the fact that my asshole is small does...still does...give me pain when I am penetrated hard there, it on the other hand gives men a lot of fun and pleasure through seeing my poor butt uncontrollably twist and turn... with my butt cheeks involuntarily wiggling left and right... as I beg and moan for mercy while my small asshole is being...sometimes brutally ...drilled wide open by the hard penis of my clients. And I felt sooooo inferior as my boy students laughed at me for having such soft, small penis...without balls...and they kept saying that if I could get hard they wouldn't have me whipped butt bare, which of course I couldn't -- because my balls had already been cut off for disobedience.

In short, after my castration, i became immensely popular, and i was fucked by as many as 14 or so clients a day ...very painful...but the money i was able to earn...at as much as USD 200 + per hour...helped me to pay off the huge embezzlement debt i was owning to Master in less than a year. )

At least in my case, remaining a castrated shemale for ever was absolutely out of the question. It was true that men/boys...particularly my students...were willing to pay up to USD 200 + for one hour of my service. But then what they demanded from me was something which I could ultimately not give, which was having my penis shrunken to ever-smaller size. 

The boys found it most interesting that I had such large boobs...at nearly 36 inches by mid-2015... and yet my penis was just 2 inches plus at most at its largest size. They liked to see me stroke my own penis until it seemed to be getting hard, and then while laughing and joking, they poured icy cold water onto my poor pee pee to make it retract and contract just as it was felt (by their hands) to be hardening. I begged them NOT to do that, as it created too much tension in me, and I sobbed and went down on my knees to beg them not to play with my pee pee in that sadistic manner.

As expected, that made them punish my pee pee harder, by paying the night club manager extra fee to have me whipped on my poor pee pee to 'make it smaller'. In desperation, I tried to satisfy the boys by having my penis bound tight with a soft...sometimes even hard...rope, so it could appear smaller and would retract more easily without being whipped, which as you might expect was toooooo painful for me to bear. 

That forced binding of my penis...along with the almost whipping of my poor pee pee.. prevented the normal circulation of blood in my penis, and that gave me not just difficulty in urinating, but upon medical examination, large stretches of blood clogs were found inside the veins of my penis, a condition which the doctors told me was most dangerous, and might well lead to CANCER.

 Much as I myself also liked my own small, cute-looking penis, I didn't want to let such clogged blood circulation medical condition to lead to cancer - and my death. 

So I HAD to cut off my penis, so all that suffering and pain that the boys so enjoyed inflicting on my very poor pee pee would come to a natural end, without unnecessarily causing any offence to any one of my clients for refusing to accept punishment at my penis, which as a submission escort I did have the duty to submit myself to.

 So although as a post-op ladyby my income has now dropped sharply to less than USD 100 per hour of service  since the removal of my penis, I sort of felt relieved, both from the mental pressure of having such odd appearance....with boobs and penis on the same body...and from the excruciating pain of having my penis punished in such unreasonably cruel manner.

Picture Above : Perhaps you may like to know HOW , in the period from March 2013 to November 2015, Master successfully made my penis shrink, retract and contract to the smallest size possible to meet the different demands of my clients, particularly those unreasonable ones of my students many of whom would never have come all the way from Malaysia to have me booked had my penis not been so small- ...almost micro-... looking.

Although my penis did look quite small after my castration, it wasn't even then as small as many of my students would have wished, and further retraction and contraction of my penis size was needed to maintain the size of my clientèle, which consisted mostly of the young students I used to teach over a period of four years when I taught part time at a secondary school.

Master purchased online from Germany a 'penis roller'. It sort of looks like a roller used  for pressing and shaping bread, but is attached onto a fixed-line motor which makes its rolling force very strong. So to make my penis retract to the smallest possible size, Master...and later the club manager in charge of my conduct...would use this electric roller to roll, press and push down my penis, and the volume was often turned to maximum to achieve the best possible effects. 

After just about 15 minutes of such penis shrinking therapy ...which by the way is NOT painful, just very itchy indeed...with this strange machine from the U S, my penis retracted significantly to look cutely small, at just two inches plus, and it dangled and rested docilely in between my legs, making me look 'harmless' -- for many boys, despite my castration, did fear for their own safety that my penis would somehow suddenly get big and erect like theirs,  and then I would be on top of them, fucking them instead. 

With my penis retracted to such mini size, the boys felt proud of their own manhood which looked gigantic when compared to mine. That made me feel so inferior..which was what they wanted to humiliate me... and yet at the same time made them feel so proud and superior -- and 'man'. 

In the short period between January 2014 and November 2015, i was earning so much as a castrated shemale escort that i not only succeeded in paying off the embezzlement debt i owned Master, but also saved enough money for  both my facial femininization surgery and sex reassignment surgery. 

Although there are indeed many ladyboys in Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand, less than 1% of the ladyboys working as escorts have truly feminine looks like mine, and according to what my clients used to say, only one out of hundreds has a pretty, white-skinned  and neat-looking small penis like mine. 

That is because most ladyboys are taking female hormones on a D.I.Y., do-it-yourself, basis, randomly taking female hormone pills, mostly contraceptive pills, as and when they feel like it, and some don't even bother to take female hormone at all, and they choose the easy way out by just having silicon implants in their chest to create big, but unsightly rice-bowl-turned-upside-down sort of breasts which are felt to be hard when touched.

Under Master's strict supervision, i was under full professional medical care, and so i was taking the right amounts of female hormones...both orally and through injection...on a daily, regular basis. There are at my own count SIX different types of female hormones that I am ...still am...taking every day.

So as soon as I had been castrated, hundreds of my students and schoolmates lined up to have me booked. Actually I INVITED them to come by email because I really needed much money to pay off my debts.

Most of my clients, particularly my students, would prefer me to meet them with all my clothes on. Then they wanted me to perform a striptease show for them. I needed to put aside all my pride and dignity...and all sense of shame...to perform such strip shows for them.

The boy said, ' Take off your bra, Teacher, let me see how big your breasts are.' Then I had to remove my bra, always timidly just to arouse the boy who would say, 'Show me more, Teacher, let me see your pink nipples.' When he saw what he wanted to see, he would often squeeze my nipples, and that sensation of being squeezed at those sensitive spots of mine often made my knees get so very weak, and I simply had to get down ...sort of collapsing...on my knees. 

The next usual command from the boy was this : 'Pull down your panties...let me see how small your penis is !' Before meeting any one of my clients, I usually poured icy cold refrigerated water onto my penis...already much shrunken in size after castration...to make it retract further. When seeing my small, soft pee pee, the boy would often say, 'Yes very small indeed, can it get hard ?' I could only answer, ' Sometimes it still does...but most of the time, it can't....so please don't punish me if I sometimes get hard without permission.'

But getting hard or not, I got spanked butt bare anyway, sooner or later, because I had this  problem of getting a 'piss hard-on' which was that after I had been fucked in my asshole, I often felt the need to pee, and the accumulated  urine thus jammed inside my penis made it look to be hardening, though in fact it wasn't that at all, because as soon as I had urinated, that piss hard-on would be gone, and my poor pee pee would get soft immediately. But the boys couldn't careless about that, and they insisted on having  me spanked or whipped butt bare for 'getting hard without permission.'

March 3, 2013 -- a day to remember for the rest of my life.

While doing my routine evening overtime work as an administrative assistant in the accounts section of an import/export company, my company manager caught me unawares as i was removing the wrappings around my chest which served to flatten my breasts to enable my chest to simulate that normal flat male chest look.

My manager told me that He  already knew that i had embezzled substantial sums from the company by having the miscellaneous expenses juggled periodically to falsify the accounts.

 i was numbed...petrified...by his discovery, and as He took me into His car...drove me to where He lived...i was so stunned by the prospect of having to go to jail that i passed the whole one-hour plus car ride to the outskirts of the city in a sort of delirious unconsciousness, a dream-like state of unreality,  me not being totally aware of what street scenes the car was driving through. There was a faint twilight dashing onto my hands through the car windows -- i noticed that my hands were trembling.

On arrival at the manager's home...a big detached house at a secluded wooded area...i was so fearful of what might happen to me that i could hardly stand on my feet.

The manager took me to His bedroom, and there He turned on all the downlights at the room, rotating them to the spot where i was standing.

Then He unbuttoned my shirt...i was wearing a tie, like any office male staff member...and He pulled out my breasts, like harvesting a pair of pearls from inside the hard shell of a clam -- forcibly, and with much force. 

He said, 'Nice tits...pretty skin...you will make a good whore.' He drew small circles around my nipples, round and round, till the pulsating sensation i felt there weakened me...having me drained... so much that I had to get down on my knees. 

Then the manager unzipped the fly of His trousers...took out His penis...oh, so big, nearly 8 inches, and rock-hard too...then he said, 'Suck'. i knelt down immediately and tried my best to make Him feel good, using the tip of my tongue to caress the tip of his penis, merry-go-round fashion,  while  carefully avoiding having having any of my teeth touching His penis. 

The manager held my right hand tight, caressed it, saying,' Very white and small...you should use this  cute little hand of yours to hold a penis rather then a pen. If you become my slave, I will let you go, okay ?' i said, sobbing as i was sucking his penis, saying, 'Yes i will be your slave Sir...as long as you won't send me to jail for stealing your money, Sir.'

My manager is now my Master.

Picture Below : As you can see, I had very small breasts in those days before my MtF transition. My breasts...at just 32 inches... were at most B Cup, and were hardly visible if wrapped tight beneath my shirt and tie. Actually i liked having such small breasts because that would be convenient for my double life as boy at day and a girl at night.

The manager...Master...was unbuttoning my shirt to see whether my skin was white, smooth and soft enough to be castrated to work as a shemale escort to earn the money  needed for paying off the company funds i had embezzled over a period of nearly six months between October 2012 and March 2012.

Picture Below : The manager...Master...stuck two electric conductors onto my nipples to determine whether my nipples are sensitive to vibration by getting hard and erect.  Normal male nipples do not easily respond to such vibration, while female ones do. Mine responded well, getting hard in seconds.


'Your skin is very fair....nipples cute and pink...you never do any outdoor exercise ?' Master asked. 'Papa raised me as a girl, so i always stay at home to do housework,' i replied. Then Master told me to use my hard, erect nipples to caress His hairy chest, which i  obediently did by crossing my nipples over His  over and over again. 'Nice,' Master said, 'I may consider releasing you.'

Picture Below : Me being down on my knees to suck the penis of my manager, now my Master. I was still in shirt, tie and trousers, which were the clothes I had put on for my office work on that day, March 3, 2013 -- on that very day  my most interesting and exciting decade-long life as a crossdresser came to an abrupt end... almost tragically, in a way...  because of the crime...embezzlement...I committed.

As a post-op ladyboy working as an escort, I need to make sure that my asshole continues to be easily accessible to my clients. Now as ever, my small, tight asshole remains my major appeal, because as both my teachers and students keep saying, my asshole has the sort of suction power that my new pussy seems to lack. It is therefore important for me to maintain my asshole in the sort of easily opened condition that men like. I am continuing to have medical checkups so doctors can use tubing to sort of consolidate the muscles of my new pussy while at the same time my asshole is tuned to the  right muscular flexibility that is not too tight for entry, and yet not too loose to take away all the fun and pleasure there is of penetrating it.

Tubing treatment could be done at home by myself, but to keep my asshole and new pussy in the best accommodating condition possible, I prefer to consult a qualified medical professional.

 The whole process of tubing or plugging treatment is initially quite painful, as I need to get a correctly sized tube stuck into my asshole and/or pussy at the same time or in turns, whichever way the doctor deems suitable. There is no such treatment in Malaysia but plenty of it in Thailand, where ladyboys are everywhere.

(Me --Taking the  sometimes unbearably great pain for tubes to be inserted into both my asshole and pussy to  medically get both holes into the right shapes for the enjoyment of my clients, mainly my students, who are now coming back to have me booked after initially having left me in large numbers after my sex reassignment surgery in November 2015.)

(In particular the butt plug at my asshole MUST be inserted into my asshole at least two hours before I begin serving my first client of the day. If not properly loosened and lubricated, my asshole will be hurt ...really bad...upon penetration.)