If you think that only men and boys are interested in paying the night club just for a look at my castrated/sex change condition, you are mistaken indeed. Even girls are interested.
News of my castration and my new job as shemale escort keeps spreading far and wide among my old schoolmates, teaching colleagues and students. And some of my girl schoolmates, girl students and female teaching colleagues also came book me, just for taking a look at what a castrated penis is like.
Unlike the West, ladyboys, particularly castrated ones, are a rarity in my country, because just a few ladyboys are willing to take the extra step to go through castration and to grow natural breasts. Most just put on women's clothes...have themselves made up like girls...and put silicon implants beneath their chest to have artificial, most unsightly so-called breasts, which look like two ugly rice bowl turned upside down.
My girl students and schoolmates never ever come to have sex with me, but what they want is to ask me to strip naked and then, in wonder, they examine my body inch by inch, admiring the soft texture of my smooth skin...awestruck by its softness and whiteness... while at the same time they are also bewildered by the wonder of medical science, which successfully not just cut off my balls, but have my penis chopped short, revamped and re-constructed to form a penis-like clitoris at my new pussy.
As girls, my female students, schoolmates and former teaching colleagues are very gentle and considerate while having my body examined and inspected, which is in marked contrast to the boys who squeeze and press my nipples, pussy and butt so very hard I need to go down on my knees to beg for mercy. While gently caressing my body, the girls always ask,' Does it hurt if I touch you there ?' They are very kind but I see from their eyes and (uncontrollable) occasional laughter that they do look down upon me for being so sissy, cutting off my own penis to become a girl. I know they despise me, thinking that I am a pervert -- but what can I do ?
A primary six pupil from a primary school near my night club wants me to upload this picture to show his schoolmates that he is already a man, and he is riding me like a horse, and having me fucked like a dog. It is so shameful, me being humiliated by a little boy like this. So I had refused to do this, but then the little boy's father, whose hands you can see in this picture....holding my butt steady so his son could ride on my back...reported my disobedience to the night club manager.
Fortunately the night club manager was very understanding, and said that he would give me a chance as long as I issued a formal statement of apology to the father of this little boy, right here, because he has been reading my posts online for some time.
So this is the picture that shows how James, my Little Master, rode on my back treating me like a horse, and then afterwards His very strong penis had me penetrated while i was on my hands and knees like a dog -- i am very sorry, Master James, i won't dare to be disobedient to You again.
Over the past three years, my poor little penis went through castration, chopping off and reshaping to form the little bit of penis-shaped clitoris at the perimeter of my pee hole, well hidden by my newly constructed pussy lips.
My students, schoolmates, my teachers and my boyhood friends have helped made my transition a success and have enabled me to succeed as a shemale escort.
I was a submissive sissy before my castration, and it has been, and still is, my desire to become a soft, feminine and obedient girl, so although I am fucked, humiliated and spanked on a daily basis, I know that is what I need to become a real girl, so that I can no longer be aggressive, independent and educated the way I once was. I know men/boys like me to be submissive, dependent and stupid, taking orders and absolutely obeying them on command.
When my students have me booked, the first thing they do is to spread open my pussy and toy with my little leftover penis clitoris, and then they order me to kneel down...with collar on....to allow them to put their feet on my head as I kowtow to them. Then I remove their shoes and socks and start licking their feet and toes as signs of my total submission. I ritually do all these before I serve the boys in other ways -- doing all those things they like for them and with them.
I know many people are sick of a freak, a pervert or a moron like me... that explains why I am NOT allowed to have a Google plus profile or 'followers'...this giving up my past life to embrace a new one. But this is what I must do, now that I an a girl and an escort.
One immediate side-effect of my castration was that I NEEDED to be disciplined and controlled to be sufficiently turned on. I need to be bound, whipped and and then BRUTALLY fucked before I could get high enough to squirt.
As castrated shemale, my job is NEVER simply being fucked by men. Men prefer to penetrate us shemales in a way they never ever dream of even mentioning it to their wives or girlfriends.
That is why before becoming a castrated shemale, I underwent very tough training which now does help me to adjust to my new life as a submission escort. As long as men pay the special fees required by the night club administration, I must do whatever men want me to do, however awkward and humiliating that may mean. Had I not been an escort...and a castrated submission escort at that...all that is required of me may be regarded as gross violation of human rights. But as the way it is, I need to submit to it all, though it is a lie to say that I like it.
After Master had cut off my testicles for disobedience....in December 2013...He helped me to nurse my incision wounds and afterwards had my castrated penis bandaged. He was so very kind, helping me to cleanse and dress my surgery wounds for nearly six weeks,
In early February, seeing that my incision wounds had already healed, and that the last scar tissues were gone, He gave me my first bath. i was sooooo grateful to Him for all His help.
Master is a big man, at 6 feet 6 inches and over 250 lbs, and i ,..at just 5 feet 3 inches and with my weight trimmed down to 105 lbs ...after strict dieting...i looked helplessly small beside His tall stature -- and i felt so very shy as He gently caressed, cleansed and wiped dry my poor little castrated penis...shrinking fast in size to less than two inches, messily like a lump of flesh, though, in those early days of my recovery.
i felt so very shy, embarrassed and infinitely inferior as i said 'Thank you Master for Your kindness' when my daily baths ... taken twice daily, once before Master went to work, and once before He put me to sleep at night...were over.
While at university and studying literature, I learned that in Greek mythology there is a god who calls himself Narcissus, and he spends practically all his time on looking at his own image, and from that English gets this word, 'narcissistic'.
Yes indeed I am narcissistic, and when I have no clients to serve, I spend long hours on looking at my own body. The wonders of modern medical science never cease to amaze me. This is me, oh so soft, white-skinned and submissively feminine. Three years ago, my skin was so rough-looking, almost coarse upon touch, and this little sweet smile on my face could NOT be achieved without sufficient daily intake of this wonderful hormone called 'estrogen'.
Yes MtF transition is most difficult and escort work is not just hard but painful, but all that difficulty, sorrow and unhappiness are nullified in one single stroke when I look at myself in this selfi picture.
Oh AlmightyGod, my Heavenly Father, let me be a girl if I have to, but God if I HAVE to be a girl, make me become a girl splendidly, and let it be thy Will and mine, now and for ever. Amen.
I was recovering from my castration in bed, awaiting whole-body medical checkup to monitor my progress in feminization. Master stripped me naked, and placed me gently in bed with just this little bit of clothing covering my ERECT penis.
You might have thought that I could no longer get hard after my castration. But that was not true. Whenever I saw something sexciting, my naughty penis still got hard and erect. On this occasion when this picture was taken, that most sexciting thing was the strong, dark and muscular body of my most respected, most beloved MASTER.
When He approached me, my whole body was trembling, and when His strong hands touched my nipples...making them hard upon contact...my naughty little penis turned hard, very hard. i apologized to Master for getting hard without permission. He said, 'It is okay dearest, your little pee pee needs trimming exercise after it has kicked off its two clumsy balls.'
Oh, Master was so imaginative. i smiled at Master, and He me. Thank you, Master, for cutting off my most unsightly, clumsy balls. I HATED having them since the time I began crossdressing at the age of 13.
The doctors asked me to get my cock RELAXED before I underwent castration. I had been exceedingly nervous at the ward minutes before I was taken into the operation room.
There was such tension all over me that it was impossible to begin having me castrated unless I felt more relaxed. A huge overhead light was placed directly above my cock, and I was asked to twist, press, pull or caress my penis in any way I wanted until I felt relieved and relaxed enough to have my testicles cut off.
I tried my best to keep myself calm, -- and my poor but naughty penis soon got all softened up, and then the doctors, observing my cock under the strong bright overhead light, found that I was ready to be castrated after about 10 minutes of my self-monitored penis softening/relaxation exercise.
My popularity as an escort reached a peak when it was made known through the Internet that my balls had been cut off and I was just left with a small, soft and drooping penis. My schoolmates were among the first clients to literally swarm across the Malaysia-Thailand border to have me booked. The club manager asked me to attend to my schoolmates by serving them tea with just a see-through blouse on.
The men....who used to admire me for my good performance at school...took advantage of that dress to fondle me on my breasts, making me feel so very itchy all over. And then they pushed their hands into my butt cleavage to feel my castrated penis, and they always said, 'Oh so small and so very cute and soft.' That made feel so embarrassed but I needed to keep a broad smile on my face as they were sliding their hands down my thighs.
Yes they did make me feel comfortable, and the fact that I was being treated like a girl....as never...made me feel happy at the bottom of my heart.
You might have thought that after my penis has been cut off...partly for disobedience partly out of my own choice to avoid that most painful penis whipping by my students....I won't be humiliated anymore.
I have however found MOST of my clients CANNOT get hard without having in the first place having me humiliated in a certain way. Now that I look every inch a girl, they...especially my naughty students...like to force me to stand to pee with a collar attached to a leash tied to a tree, the way a dog is treated.
Girls aren't supposed to pee standing up, and I don't think any girl will ever allow herself to be collared like a dog to pee in public at a countryside spot. But this kind of thing ALWAYS turns my clients on...my teachers, my schoolmates as well as my students....and I have to cooperate or be whipped by the night club manager for disobedience.
Fortunately, after much begging, I am usually allowed to pee at a wooded area, where nobody can see it happen ...this kind of thing is too shameful and embarrassing. After some practice, I can now hit any object placed on the ground beneath my feet for my urine to shoot at...quite often right on target....occasionally I do miss, particularly if the client who orders to to do it is just a child at primary school, which makes me feel so ashamed, me having been a teacher before.
Actually many young boys have me booked just to see me pee like this with my neck being collared like a dog. Many of them are afraid that I may carry a sexually transmissible disease and won't have sex with me, except oral sex and THIS.
Immediately after my castration, Master hired a physiotherapist to give me daily body massage to help relax the tension I felt as a result of the complete removal of my testicles. Without such whole body massage, I felt sort of restless 24/7, because it seemed something was missing from my body, and I felt a sense of loss, frustration and depression in the weeks following my castration surgery. The doctor said that it was post-castration melancholy and must be dealt with immediately through receiving daily massage. Master was so very kind and He hired this practitioner to help relax my body muscles, so after two months of such massage, my depression was gone.
(My students and schoolmates showed little interest in me while I was having a full cock. I got just an average of three or four bookings per week.
But after my castration in December 2013, the number of bookings I was receiving from my clients, especially my students, mounted up so rapidly that I got at least 10 bookings per day.
The fact that...after castration... my penis shrank considerably in size from 3 inches plus to 2 inches plus, and the fact that I no longer had those (in my students' view) unsightly balls, pumped up the penis of those naughty teenage students of mine like an inflated balloon.
The fact that I had been their teacher, a male teacher at that, and yet now I had been castrated...on my knees and in chains, working as a slave escort...drove practically everybody...my students, schoolmates , teachers and school colleagues... to such sexciting frenzy that they could sustain their erection...usually a rock-hard erection...for at least 20 minutes, whichever age group they belonged to.)
Being in collar and being towed around with a chain/rope attached to the collar on my neck is part of my work as both housemaid and escort. The leash held by the man/boy who leads, drags or tows me around gives him a sense of superiority, and of male pride. The fact that he can just pull the leash and then he can adjust me to any compromising posture that will make him happy gives him the satisfaction of total domination. THAT...the feeling of male pride and domination...is important -- in fact most important-- for sustaining the sort of hard erection needed by men for penetrating a girl.
In those days when I still had a small penis dangling in between my legs, my poor (yes...poor...because it was so often whipped by men just for fun !!) penis served as a look-alike dog tail, which tended to swing this way and that way...it being so soft...while I was crawling around on my hands and knees. Now that my penis has been cut off, men still like having a fake dog tail plugged into my asshole, so that those titillating tail swinging butt movements, which are so arousing to men, can be performed by me as and when I am commanded to do so.
Men like to be FULLY clothed while leading me on my dog walk around the room, and when they ask me to suck their penis, they being still in trousers with just the fly open to let the penis out --while me being totally or semi-naked with my boobs, pussy and butt all bare. Because the collar can be adjusted to become really very tight, men can make it tighter to sort of choke me in case I am found to be disobedient. They need only to push and pull their leash a bit, and I will immediately take the cue that I am not doing enough to satisfy them, and then I will kneel down with my hands holding up and curling like a dog ...with my head humbly bowed...barking...and asking for forgiveness.
In case I am found to be disobedient...or simply that men feel LIKE it...I will be required to go down on my hands and knees with my butt raised way up...the way an obedient dog does to please its master...and I will use my mouth to hold a small cane, which I pass to men to await my needed punishment. Usually my punishment for being a disobedient dog is limited to five lashes on each of my butt cheeks. -- but the client could pay Master/the club manager a bit more to give me additional whipping if they have the excuse , for example, that my skin is not white and soft enough.
After I have received one lash, I must say, 'I am a bad girl...but I am a good dog.' or anything the client wants me to say, such as 'Please whip me to make me a good girl' and much else, it depending on the whims and fancies of the client. I don't actually like the WHOLE process, but bits of it are arousing to me in a way I would have preferred to control. For example, when I am being spanked with a collar on my neck, there is a flaming hot feeling rushing up from my butt where the pain is felt, and then that pain is transformed into really horny, itchy and tingling feelings...like red-hot darts... rushing up to my heart, which tends to beat at an accelerated rate as each lash impacts on my butt, and as I am being required to say something like 'I don' t want to be a naughty boy...please have me whipped so I can be an obedient girl.'
Why that could turn me on is on the whole a mystery but parts of the mystery can be explained. I feel that the higher the female hormone level inside the body, the more submissive that person will become. During the first few months of my slave training...after signing the slave contract in March 2013...I was very boy and aggressive, arguing and struggling as I was being required to be fucked by men on a daily basis.
Then I began having injection-type hormones which raised the level of female hormone in my blood, so towards November 2013, I began to ACQUIRE peace and quiet even while I was being ordered to kneel down and be spanked/whipped. The removal of my testicles in December 2013 was the final finishing strike. After castration, I felt sooooo physically weak. The sort of thing which I could easily do while still having testicles ...such as pushing and pulling a chest full of clothes out from the space just under the bed...became next to impossible for me, and I found pulling a long, wooden table most strenuous, which is something easily done by any 14-year-old boy.
The most noticeable physical change is seen in my upper arms where the muscles there have turned to soft, fluffy flesh. Indeed whereas formerly when I was a male teacher, I could use just one hand to easily drag out a naughty, noisy 14-year-old boy to the front of the class to stand there for disobedience, I found...to the amazement of my students...that after castration any weak-looking teenage boy could hold me down with just one hand, and I couldn't move a bit --so I think that it is a REAL shame that some husbands beat up their wives, because we as women are really so much weaker than men in terms of physical strength !
(The fact that a former male teacher had been castrated to work as a shemale escort was a stunning piece of news to ALL those who used to know me as their teacher or student, so that in the first two months following my castration, HUNDREDS of people ...mainly my former students, teachers, schoolmates, neighbourhood childhood friends...in that order in terms of numbers...literally streamed across the border just to see how I looked...mostly just to take a look at my new body...but not to have sex with me, since they were afraid of contracting a sexually transmissible disease from me.
The night club manager arranged for me to be locked inside a small steel cage, so that while my clients were making their observation of my body, I was tightly confined within the small space and my restrained condition wouldn't allow me to be able to hide my boobs or small castrated penis with my hands, which was what I did...out of shame...during the first few weeks after my castration surgery.)
(After castration, the muscles at my arms all changed into fats within a matter of six weeks. My arms...my wrists, in particular...lost the strength they formerly had, so that any teenage student of mine could keep both my arms firmly locked by gripping me at both my wrists with just one hand --- and from then on, that is the way it is, with any boy being able to easily overpower me and having me pinned down, rather effortlessly.)
Added to my depleting physical strength was my lack of will to fight after castration. Whereas when for example ...before castration... I was asked to have sex with a teenage boy, I used to feel agitated and protested most vehemently. After castration I felt a GROWING, irresistibly great desire in me to SUBMIT to men, particularly dominant men, and kneeling down to allow men to have me collared seems humiliating...yes...but that ...I mean the collar...gives me unspeakably comforting feelings of being controlled and disciplined, literally by the STRONG hands of men..oh their body feels so hard... so muscular...and I have this sense of SATISFACTION, a sense of fulfillment, while seeing and feeling my soft white body...with muscles seemingly all gone after castration...being pushed and pulled this way and that way to let everybody... and anybody... see that I am under control. The collar is in my view a symbol of total submission and after my castration, I have been so willing to submit to men and be controlled and disciplined by them.
Picture Below : At the night club where I work, the ladyboy escorts...whether pe-op, castrated, or post-op...are all friends with each other. There is no competition among us for clients, because in a way, we have different types of clients. For example, my students, my teachers and schoolmates come to the night club just to have me booked, and though sometimes they may like to have 3P, I am invariably involved.
Other girls have clients who would never have me booked. In this way, there is much rapport among us ladyboys and we usually have our afternoon and evening meals together, when we chat about the men we meet and serve, and how our boyfriends/Masters discipline us for disobedience. Nearly ALL of us are submissive by nature or through training, so that we are all disciplined by men in different ways.
While at the club, we ladyboys are all naked at our own room to await being used for the fun and pleasure of men. In this picture...taken in May 2015...we were welcoming a new colleague to join us. The girl standing in the middle in the front row is Liza, who had just been castrated by her boyfriend to be sold to the night club as a shemale escort to help pay off her boyfriend's gambling debts.
In fact all of us have been sold to the night club to settle debts of various kinds, usually those incurred by our Masters/boyfriends. Before the club would accept us, we must be castrated to make us more obedient and to make sure that we all have the potential and promise to pay off the debts which have been borrowed from the club to help pay off the debts of our Masters/boyfriends.
In my case, Master Himself needed money to start a new business of His in Singapore, and I had heard that I had been sold at a good price...the exact amount is unknown to me...because I look cute, small and had a small penis which promised great attraction and publicity.
The girl at the extreme left in the back row is me. Although I am a bit less than 5'4", I am still a bit taller than many girls in my part of the world, where girls are generally at an average of 5'2" or 5'3".
Before having my penis removed in November 2015, I used to belong to THIS elite group of castrated, feminine shemale escorts who could earn as much as USD 200 for an hour of normal services, but if discipline/bondage devices (such the cane/pad/whip, nipple clamps or the forced orgasm machine) are to be used on us, additional fees will be charged.
Now that I no longer have a penis, I am downgraded...very much so... and I am currently earning as little as USD 50 for an hour of normal services. To join the 'elite group' you see in this picture, a girl must have undergone castration to have her balls removed, and her butt measurement must be at no less than 37" to be sufficiently large and attractive to clients, the majority of whom enjoy having us spanked for pleasure.
Here is another picture of us - with no clothes on. I am the girl sandwiched in the middle, with ponies. We were all boys but have all undergone the needed surgeries to remove our cock, so that what is between our legs in no different...at least in outward appearance...from that of any biological girl. If the penis is simply cut off, the pubic spot between our legs won't have the slightly bulging curves of a biological girl.
To solve this problem, the doctors removed tissues from our thighs to construct the needed pussy lips to help our new pussy grow to match and acquire the natural female pussy contours. When the pussy lips have been successfully developed , public hairs will begin to grow but these are immediately removed by electrolysis so that our pussy will remain permanently bald to make us young and childlike like a teenage girl, which is an image that is popular with our clients. Ninety-nine per cent of the girls who work with me as post-op ladyboys are uneducated in the sense of not having finished even secondary schooling.
Like me, they were raised as girls at home but unlike me, they had been sold at an early age by their family or boyfriends to work as escorts. Unlike the Westerners...which would prefer ladyboys with hard, big cocks...Asian clients of all nationalities like small-cock ladyboys with a soft, small and dysfunctional cock that couldn't have an erection. After our Masters/boyfriends had sold us to the night club manager for a sum of money not made known to us, we would sign a fixed-term contract to work for at least two years --first as a shemale escort for one year, and in the second year, we are free to undergo sex change surgery to work as female escorts, if that is what we want.
To avoid unnecessarily offending our clients in case we get hard without permission...the men here don't like us ladyboys to get hard while we are being fucked...our Masters/boyfriends would usually have us castrated.
Every girl who has been castrated agrees with me that we have all become physically (much) weaker after castration...our hands and legs lose both muscles and strength, becoming soft all over...but we do all become more submissively feminine. With our male pride having been literally cut away, we adjust more easily to our new role as escort, which would mean that we always need to get down on our knees to be fucked, humiliated and/or spanked.
In a sense after castration, we ACCEPT our newly acquired gender as 'female' openly and readily. The fact that we are fucked on our hands and knees doggy style might have been (indeed) humiliating before our castration...because we felt that we were BOYS...but after our Masters/boyfriends had cut away our balls, we do feel that it is perfectly okay to be humbly on our knees to serve men at their feet...and make them happy by eating their cum and/or drinking their urine... because we are no longer boys -we are girls now. Girls should do these things for men anyway.
After all, women and girls all over the world are doing the same things we do : As girls, we do naturally feel that there is nothing strange or unusual about us being stripped naked to be fucked, humiliated and punished by men.
We all have boyfriends/Masters and all of us hand over all our earnings to our men who will protect us, care for us and discipline us - if we are disobedient.
We are all being regularly punished...spanked/whipped...put in collar to do corner time...made to drink the pee of our boyfriends/Masters...so we will always behave and gradually becoming more and more feminine and submissive. The girls agree with me that initially the punishment was felt to be both painful and humiliating, but after some time and having adjusted to THAT, we sort of begin to LIKE being disciplined by men, because on my knees at the feet of our men makes us feel so GIRL, and they...our men...so MAN.
When we stand naked ...as we did in this picture...we are there to wait for clients to pick and choose us by having our body parts...mainly butt, pussy and tits...stroked and...oh so comforting..squeezed. Although I am university-educated, I am still introduced to new clients as being just primary school educated-- like the rest of the girls. If I am introduced as being a university graduate, that needs a lot of explanation, and that is both troublesome and not worth the time and energy spent on doing it.
You can see that my English is not bad, but in my daily life...both as escort and housemaid...I am only allowed to speak in ANY language...be it Chinese, Malay, Thai or English...in a BROKEN, UNGRAMMATICAL way. I used to punish my former students...who are now my clients...for not speaking proper, correct English. But now I myself need to speak in broken English like any other girl working at the night club.
My clients don't like me to SOUND educated, and on some occasions when I forget to speak 'correctly' in poor, broken English with my clients...particularly the boys I once taught...they slap me on my face, and then have me fucked in my mouth...face fucked...for having said 'I am a good girl' instead of , in their view, the 'correct' way, which should be 'Me girl. Me is good.' In my days as a teacher, I often made the boys stand for nearly an hour in class to be publicly humiliated for using SUCH pitiably poor English.
It hurts me to speak like this when having conversation with my clients. But most of them speak English just like this, and since they are of different races...Chinese, Malays, Indians and Thais...it seems that this sort of broken English... which never fails to drive me to tears because of the humiliation of using it... is THE language of my business, the only effective means of communication with my (largely uneducated) clientele.
Clients normally don't want to buy sex from a girl who is too bright or educated because the men themselves mostly didn't work hard as students and are normally NOT that literate, not to say educated. Although I do have something extra inside my pussy...that little bit of penis-like clitoris, I never ever publicize it as a selling point of mine.
That is because of two reasons - first, I don't want to attract the wrong clients who are just interested in having me punished or whipped, like the majority of my students who are still having me regularly booked. Secondly, I want to give men a pleasant surprise when they probe my pussy with their fingers. This unexpected but very pleasant surprise will help attract men enough to keep coming back to have me booked over and over again.
Sometimes, a rich businessman...mostly from China...will like over a dozen of us girls to serve him all at the same time. The most popular combination of such gang sex service consists in combining biological girls, pre-op ladyboys and post-op ladyboys...two each from each type...so the total number of girls hired to serve just one rich client might add up to six or nine of us.
In my days as a castrated shemale, I was a most popular choice in such grouping. Men of different races like having me fucked in my asshole doggy style with my miserably small, castrated penis hanging loosely and dangling weakly in between my legs, as you can see from the picture on top below, with me wearing a name tag describing my past -- a former male teacher castrated to work as an escort. THIS , along with my little castrated penis, often served as a sort of psychological aphrodisiac, a testosterone stimulator to give that rich man the needed strength and stamina to eventually have all the girls fucked, one by one.
(Me : on my feet and kissing the middle-aged client, with him squeezing and caressing my castrated penis while the other girls...with either a full cock or a pussy....get down on their knees to try in different ways to turn the man on to that needed feverish pitch needed for him to get us all fucked in any way he likes.
My castrated little penis, at just two inches plus, was a big money earner, because many men NEEDED to toy...or torture...my poor little penis...usually with a small whip.... to gain the power and momentum for this really huge task of having so many girls penetrated in just one two hour-session.
Such clients are able to pay a lot for such marathon fucking session, so that the club manager often needed me, nicknamed ' Little Penisgirl Teacher' to be around to get the client's penis hard, as I could be whipped and humiliated in any way the client wanted.
Many girls liked to complain about being handled roughly while being fucked or humiliated, but I must passively accept my punishment as if I was disobedient or just made a verbal complaint, the club manager would have me whipped immediately in front of the client with a big rod...so I was scared...I didn't like to be the 'leader' of such group, but as long as I had a penis...a castrated penis...I MUST do my job properly.
That was another reason why I resolved to get out of this miserable leadership position by having my penis cut off once and for all. If the client couldn't get his penis hard enough, the blame was so unfairly always on me, and as leader, I was always the only girl singled out to be whipped by the client...while other girls just watched on...it was so unfair.)
Me and my ladyboy friends in a New Year reunion gathering photo - 1 January 2016 -- the bigger and taller girls are at the front, and I am No. 3 at the back along with other smaller girls. All of us are either castrated or already have our cocks completely cut off. It is impossible to acquire truly feminine, soft looks without castration. It is also impossible to grow natural, soft breasts (not those hard ones with silicon implants) if we still keep our testicles.
We don't all necessarily like to be collared or disciplined. But we as re-born girls agree unanimously that we do enjoy being collared and disciplined..with us being spanked/whipped butt bare... by our Masters/boyfriends. That...the collar...makes us so girl, while the men holding the leash and leading us, like an obedient dog, on our hands and knees around the room ...oh they look so virile - so very man--and as they use their hard, coarse dark hands to slap us on our face, squeeze our nipples and spank us on our butt, we all feel so glad that we took the right decision to undergo castration, which gives us this wonderful sense of fulfillment whilst submitting to men !
From me and my ladyboy friends in this picture -- kindly greetings from southern Thailand !!
(Me Being collared and getting ready for a session of suspension whipping to give that extra boost needed for giving my client the rock hard-erection he needs for sustained penetration of my holes. One of my duties as a trained submission escort is to help men with erection dysfunctional problems to sort out the causes of their unspeakable embarrassment -- and then help solve those problems in any way I see fit, depending on how much pain and punishment I can take to achieve that aim. Sometimes i do feel intimidated by the punishment i must go through to achieve that aim...and may therefore hesitate and falter in doing my work...but Master is always keeping a watchful eye over me to see that i am doing my job, and i will get my needed, well-deserved whipping from Master for my disobedience.
If you are a mature man, you should know that the traditional male top/female bottom way of having sex is not even close to giving the turn-on needed for a credible erection. Different men ...particularly middle-aged ones...have different orientations, whims, fantasies and hangups which must be selectively and individually satisfied before that viable erection with eventual, satisfying ejaculation could be realized.)
(Indeed mature men...middle-aged men between 40 and 55....are increasing in number in my clientele. They are mainly the men who I used to know as teachers, colleagues, neighbours --and relatives. As a student, I was hardworking and had good grades, so my teachers...particularly those in secondary schools...treated me nicely, and never had me punished or spanked for once.
My colleagues...fellow teachers at the secondary schools where I once taught...remembered me as a strict teacher with a little mustache (a fake one I put on to add to my faked masculinity) and some indeed envied me for my good class discipline. My neighbours and relatives had good memories of me being a gentle, quiet and obedient boy who was willing to stay at home to do housework. As soon as I had been castrated and the news of my new role...as a castrated shemale...was made known to all of them through my own blog posts on the internet ...all the mature men in these four groups...teachers, colleagues, neighbours and relatives....lined up to have me booked for services.
One of the main aims of Master's training programmes for me was to make me lose all my pride and dignity. All these mature men never hesitate to help in this connection. They no longer treat me with respect in any way....indeed my teachers and relatives...uncles...are particularly demanding on me, and some took along their own devices/tools...table tennis bat, small cane, chains, collars, nipple clamps, vibrators, among others...to have me punished and humiliated. Some teachers actually said that while at school, they really had very much like to have me spanked...because I looked so girly and sweet with such white smooth skin...but they never had had the chance because I was so disciplined and did so well in my exams.
My uncles said that they already knew that Papa was having me raised as a girl at home, and they too wanted to have me spanked and punished because whenever they came to visit Papa at our home, I was always in shorts, and my slender white legs without hairs turned them on. They also would have liked to squeeze and hold my small, delicate hands when I got down on my knees to serve them tea. But they couldn't do that because I was their nephew.
My colleagues openly admitted that they were envious of my good class management skills...strict discipline and zero tolerance for class misbehaviour...and they so wanted to punish me for having them put in shame for being such poor teachers in comparison to my good teaching performance. My neighbours said they didn't understand why a boy like me could have been so gentle and obedient, and they said that they must teach me lessons for setting such bad example to their sons by being so sissy, to the extent of having my balls cut off.
So although I was indeed earning a lot after my castration, there were just too many men who were interested in punishing and humiliating for one reason or another. My poor little pee pee suffered terribly...it was squeezed, stroked, sucked, whipped and slapped...and then having weights and dumb bells attached to it....THAT was why I eventually decided that my pee pee must also go, because I just couldn't take the pain anymore !!)
One thing I had found out soon after my castration was that people of the male gender...both men and boys in ALL age groups, from 14 to 74...ENJOY bullying us...people of the transsexual gender. That situation is (still is) especially serious in relation to me, because before my castration I used to be a university-educated male teacher. Do you want to know how my clients...who at first were ALL my students...bullied me in those days when I was a castrated shemale ?
One day in January 2015, three of my students had me booked for one whole morning from 7 am to 11 am, ostensibly taking me on a photo-taking session. They took me to a country park far in the countryside, many miles away from urban, built-up areas.
There one of the boys ordered me in a deliberately staged commanding deep-voiced tone, ' Teacher, take off all your clothes ...we want to see your big tits, round butt and your cute little penis without balls !!' I hesitated, because the sun was coming up, and I was afraid that some people might walk by...the boys wouldn't be in trouble...but perhaps the police might arrest me if I was seen with no clothes on in broad daylight.
Seeing my hesitation, another boy took a small rod out from his schoolbag, and then beat me on my thighs...once..twice...and when he raised his rod again the third time, I knelt down and begged, saying, 'Please don't punish me anymore...I will be a good girl.' After I had stripped off all my clothes, one boy commented, ' Skin so white...tits so big...butt so round...still pretended to be our male teacher, uh !!??? Oh your penis is really very small...where are your balls ? I answered, 'Master had cut off my balls for disobedience.'
The boys laughed...they took turns to stroke and squeeze my breasts, saying all the time, 'Very soft and white.' I felt so embarrassed by what they said...I covered my eyes with my hair, so I didn't need to see their faces...or at least I didn't need to meet their so very horny eyes. Then the boys proceeded to bind me up at both sides of the railings of a footbridge crossing, but they purposely got me hands bound together just atop of my penis. They then asked me to stroke my own penis with my hands, saying, 'If you can make your penis get hard, we will let you go free.'
I told them even in the days when I was their male teacher...still having my testicles...my balls...I could get hard only after nearly an hour of masturbation -- for half a minute though ...just in a hardening state...no erection... ....now I don't have balls, I can't get hard at all. My request for stopping to masturbate myself was denied, and they just sat there, watching me trying desperately to make myself hard, but my penis remained soft as a drooping flower bud.
Then the boys said that I was disobedient and used that small rod to have me whipped...each boy gave me two lashes...one lash each on each of my butt cheeks by every one of the three boys. When the whipping was over, one boy said, ' Now tell us that you were a bad teacher but a good penisgirl and ask us to fuck you hard to make you a better girl.' I said immediately, 'I was a bad teacher....but I am a good penisgirl...please fuck me hard to make me a better girl.' So they took turns to have me fucked in my face...mouth...and asshole, each time with one boy inside my mouth while the other one was inside my asshole. They did so in alternate pairs with me being at a standing, tied-up posture -- and they were inside me for two full hours, leaving just enough time to drive me back home to Master's place.
My job as an escort does not leave room for me to have any pride and dignity. When i was sold by Master to this night club i am now working at, i was told from Day 1 that i must obediently try my best to please any client who has paid, even if that client is someone i dislike (such as my naughty students) or a small child of 12 who as a former teacher i might not have thought morally appropriate to have me spanked and then fucked.
Eating men's/boy;s cum is part of my daily diet, and I am trying hard not to close my eyes when I am being face fucked, for fear of causing an offence to the client -- some clients just slap me on my face...right..left...right...left...several times over for closing my eyes...not showing my respect to the client...by having my eyes closed tight when cum is being shot at my face, mouth and eyes.
Eating every bit of a client's cum is so very difficult, as sometimes the client, particularly if he is a young man/boy, could cum a full champagne cupful of cum onto my face, and my face is just flooded with cum all over in seconds. Sometimes I spill or even vomit every bit of cum from e my mouth...I know that I have been impolite...I kneel down immediately to beg for forgiveness...the middle-aged or old clients usually forgive me for that...but young men and boys seldom do, and I often get spanked on my butt...or have clamps clipped to my nipples...as punishemnt for disobedience in having spilled the cum.
Female hormones..plus a clean cutting off of our cock...penis plus balls...have distinctive REJUVENATION EFFECTS on the human body..making our faces look full, bright and plump like a teenage girl's... so all four of us look much younger than our actual age, particularly after we have got our hair bound up in childlike ponies and have all our body size downsized by about 15 pounds.
Our clients are generally very curious about whether or not our pussy is real, so before they have us booked, they require us to allow our pussy to be probed by their fingers for depth and suction reflexes.
Female escorts might have resisted or loathed this kind of rather shameful and embarrassing 'selection pussy probing' but as ladyboys, we have all been whipped, trained and humiliated...by our Masters/boyfriends... in addition to having all undergone both castration and many surgeries to reach this final stage of being a complete girl, so we all willingly submit to this kind of very humiliating finger probing, as that after all shows that we are valued as girls, not as boys, as we formerly seemed to have been before the removal of our penis.)
When I was a crossdresser, I took long strides while walking on the streets at night. It was never safe out there in the dark so I sort of tried to...as soon as possible... walk off that pressure building up inside my head. Walking fast helped, and in particular when I seemed to be meeting a certain man who appeared unfriendly by casting suspicious looks on me.
But now as a girl, I am expected to walk with measured, small ladylike steps, to which I am...still am...not well adjusted. And when Master finds me walking about without wiggling my butt, as any girl does, He will punish me by having His cum shot at my face -- as a physical reminder that i am a girl, because only girls are shot at on their faces by men's cum in this particularly humiliating way.
Although I have successfully removed my penis to become a girl, that brings about another problem, which is that except for that little bit of penis-like clitoris that I still have inside my pussy, I am basically very similar...or indeed AM...a female escort. Many of my clients...mainly middle-aged ones...have left me...and quite a number of my teenage students too...because they feel that there is now nothing very special about me, and I no longer have my poor little penis for them to toy with, stroke ... or much more often...for being whipped.
Immediately before the removal of my penis, Master had consulted a close friend of his, a Thai military officer with the rank of major...who I served as housemaid and slave for 6 months...as to how to deal with the expected drop in the size of my clientele after the cutting off of my penis, which used to be my main attraction but which I hated having because it had been causing me to be unnecessarily punished and humiliated in so many ways by so many clients, especially my former boy students.
Master and the Thai major had tried hard to persuade me not to cut off my penis...which in a way became the main SUPPORT of my livelihood as shemale escort...and then they took turns to have me whipped...making my butt prawn red for much of the time in October, 2015...so it was hoped that the pain I got from having been whipped so hard on my butt would help me come to my senses and change my mind about cutting off my penis which they said was 'cute, small and most attractive.'
But I insisted that my small pee pee must go, so I could look complete as a girl, and my dream of embracing full womanhood could be fulfilled. i could not cut off my penis unless Master agreed to it because He is (still is) in control of all my savings...i don't have a personal bank account...all my money is deposited into Master's account under His name, and since my clients negotiate direct with Master about the rates charged for my services, i don't know how much i am getting for, say, being whipped for 10 minutes on my butt. That is for my own good because if I keep my own money I may do something stupid with it out of stupidity and impetuosity. Indeed I am stupid and reckless...i really need to be controlled and disciplined by the strong hand of a macho man like Master...oh, He is 6'5" 195 lbs... with broad shoulders, hairy all over...muscular too --so very man indeed!!
Since Master didn't allow me to remove my penis, i felt so very sad, and while alone in my bedroom, i sobbed uncontrollably. Since my bedroom activities are (still are) monitored by CCTV surveillance, Master saw how sadly i sobbed and eventually He relented.
One morning, Master dragged me out from bed at 4.00 am, and then He ordered me to take off my panties for Him to have a look at my little pee pee. Since my castration in December 2013, my penis had been shrinking steadily in size and length, so that it looked really very small...Master took measure of the length of my pee pee...just over an inch after Master had squeezed and twisted it to make it smaller. And then for the first time, Master to my surprise got down on His knees...at MY feet...to suck my little pee pee...His beard touched my soft little penis...so titillatingly iching ... and when He sucked my penis...i felt so hot, with my blood flaming and bursting like a flame in between my legs, sending waves of hot passions...like torrents in a whirlpool... up to my face which turned from pink to flushing red in moments.
Then Master stood up...helped me to dry the tears on my face...i had been crying and sobbing for hours before He dragged me out from bed...and then He said, 'Okay, my dearest...I'll help cut off your little pee pee since you hate it so much...that will cost quite a lot of money...will you still be my slave after that ?'
I was so touched that I broke down to sob uncontrollably. i assured Master that i would ALWAYS be His slave till the end of time. To prove my loyalty and to pledge my total submission to Master, i took out the file containing my university diplomas, school certificates, work testimonials (as teacher) and other school merit certificates that testified to my academic success when I was a bright, hardworking student at school and university. Master had allowed me to keep all those academic credentials of mine so when my slave contract expires (15 March 2016), i would have the freedom to leave him...perhaps have my breasts removed...and then i could find work as a man. Master is a kind man...he had purposely left the door open for me to DE-TRANSITION, which would mean that I would be free to resume my male identity and get back to crossdressing if that was what I liked.
I asked Master for a cigarette lighter, and then I BURNT all my diplomas and certificates in the presence of Master. I sobbed as I was burning my diplomas and certificates which represented for me my pride as a bright student at school. My tears kept dropping into the bonfire which soon consumed all my diplomas and certificates, turning them to ash.
Master smiled as he was witnessing what i was doing. He asked me to clean up the ash leftovers on the floor tiles...but there were still some faint dark stains left on the floor where the ash had been...Master said, ' Take off your bra and use your breasts to clean those messy stains on the floor...since you are going to be a complete girl, your breasts and nipples need to get firmer by doing more exercise.' So I obediently bent down...took off my bra...and used my breasts to wipe off the ash leftover stains, leaving my nipples blackened.
Then Master said, in a commanding deep voice, ' Say that you are stupid and uneducated...say that you need to cut off your penis so you can become my female slave.' As he was saying that, he put onto my neck a dog collar...which he used on his dog Harry...and tied it VERY tight around my neck...i felt choked and then coughed because of the hard pressure from the collar...but i said immediately, ' i am stupid and uneducated...i want to cut off my penis...i want to be your girl slave, Master...i want to be a real girl with no penis.'
Then Master picked up a soft whip, very flimsy but threateningly long, and told me to hold my hands behind my bead...and then He stood some distance away from me...i closed my eyes...oh so excruciatingly painful...Master was having me whipped not just on my butt, but also my poor little pee pee. i twisted and turned my body as the whip impacted on those sensitive spots, but dared not run off the limits of the chalk circle Master drew on the floor for me to stand on inside.
That painful whipping lasted for just five minutes, but it seemed to me an eternity. Then Master finally stopped...feeling drained...He took me to the bathroom to give me a bath...very kind to me, asking me repeatedly, 'Did it hurt ?' as He stroked and cleaned my poor little pee pee, now having been lumped and retracted to look like a sleepy silkworm...miserably curled up and soft as cotton.
Afterwards, Master towed me around the sitting room with the leash at my collar. He got my head sandwiched between his thighs, and then He asked me to suck Him off. Master had obviously been turned on, and He shot his cum loads all over my face and breasts. And then he asked me to lie flat on a long sofa, with my legs spreadeagled, so he could once again suck my little pee pee. Master kept saying this as He was sucking my penis, 'Oh...what a pity ! What a pity !'
So THAT was how I successfully got what I had always wanted -- having my soft, useless penis cut off.
Before accepting my routine punishment as a slave escort, I do in theory have a bit of freedom in deciding whether I should be bound up in chains or with ropes.
But in fact that is more often...nearly always...the decision of my client. In general, my less experienced clients like my teenage students would prefer to have me chained at my wrists and ankles so I will be more easily restrained in case I struggle too much as my natural reaction to the pain I DO feel while being fucked in my asshole, which is still the preferred entry point to my body because my invitingly big butt simply causes the boys to have me spanked first ...in a sort of role reversal with me being the student....they being the teachers...but mature men in their late 30's and 40's ...who are mainly my former teachers and colleagues at school...would prefer to have me bound with ropes which they use to rub all over my nipples to make them stand firm and erect.
(Picture Below : My new pussy being patiently and gently stroked...drilled and probed... in the client's almost desperate finger search for my timidly hidden little penis clitoris. This search is in fact quite painful to me, but as a girl, I still need to make my clients happy by telling them this :'Please do continue to find my little penis...yes you are almost there...yes go on pleaseeee !!')
Although both my balls and much of my penis have been cut off, I am still retaining remnants the tissues of the topmost part of my small penis, which is embedded like a clitoris inside my pussy.
That part of mine is purposely retained so I can retain a bit of that 'boy look' which some of my clients would very much wish me to have. I do NOT purposely tell everyone that I have this little cute penis 'seed' inside my pussy, as that would invite it to be unnecessarily TORTURED by unruly clients.
But if asked whether or not my penis has been totally cut away, I must be honest to tell the client that I do still have a bit of it...but he will need to help stroke, probe and caress my pussy to get that little piece of what is left of my penis firm and erect.
It takes quite some time...about 10 minutes plus...to get my poor little pee pee 'reborn' INSIDE my pussy...and men are usually delighted to see it timidly hidden there, much like a shy, lost silkworm curling inside a folds of a leaf -- but naturally beautiful, as you can see from one of the pictures I posted here some time ago.
Because men's fingers are quite big and coarse, the friction they cause my pussy does mercilessly give me some initial pain, so when men are rubbing my poor little penis back into life, they need to have me handcuffed -- and my legs must be held up high into the air, with my ankles being gripped tightly at the ankles to prevent my body from impolitely moving and twisting this way and that way.
This little cute mechanism inside my pussy helps keep men/boys coming back to have me booked, because in a way I am still very special, having something that ordinary female escorts do not have.
My castration was carried out on 13 December 2013. I signed the legal and medical documents for my surgery at a hospital in Bangkok in early December.
In Thailand there is no need to produce any certification letter from any psychiatrist relating to my mental fitness for such surgery. It is a simple procedure that takes less than two hours to complete, and for some ladyboys with a strong body (not me), it is possible to leave the hospital...walking out from the hospital unaided...within hours after castration. Hundreds of ladyboys like me are castrated around Thailand on a daily basis, so in fact for a Thai doctor, castration is a very commonplace surgery very much needed by ladyboys like me to get myself further feminized.
The Thai doctor gave me a whole body medical checkup to assess my suitability for such a surgery. He was a kind man, and he assured me that the surgery would not be painful as I would be under local anesthetics. Furthermore as my balls were really small, it would not take a long incision to extract my balls...he let me have a look at the pictures of some of the Caucasian men who had been castrated by him...all of them looked so happy after castration.
The doctor said that he would retain the skin bag holding my balls, and let it hang loosely at my penis. That wouldn't look as nice as if I had a clean cut with the whole skin bag removed, but the tissues of the skin bag, the doctor reminded me, would be useful for any future surgery I might want to have to construct a virginal canal for my pussy, if I ever wanted one. If I retained that admittedly rather unsightly loose skin bag, I would have more tissues available for construction of a deeper, more elastic virginal canal in the future.
The doctor saw the red lash marks on my butt...because of my having been whipped for being too boy and disobedient...and he said that it was naturally needed for a ladyboy like me to be whipped and humiliated, so I could be more girly and obedient. ALL ladyboys in Thailand are regularly disciplined by men to become more feminine and submissive.
Having heard all that, I felt that I was psychologically ready to be castrated...but no...in the hour immediately before I was to be transferred from the ward to the operation room, I got into a panic...I screamed and tried to get out of bed...to dash out of hospital to just leave and avoid the HORROR of having both my testicles cut off with a sharp knife.
The nurses couldn't hold me down, but then Master came, and He held me down on my knees. i was ordered to bend over at the bed with my butt raised way up, and then Master took off His leather waist belt and had me whipped really hard...10 lashes...5 lashes on each butt cheek...so i eventually calmed down. Master then told me to kneel down to say sorry to the nurses, which i did and the nurses patted me on my head, saying,'Good girl...don't be afraid...after the surgery you will be obedient like any girl.'
As I was being wheeled to the operation room, a pretty Thai nurse spoke to me in her sweet, fluent English, ' Don't cry...don't be afraid...after your balls are gone, you will look prettier...men will like you more...you will be more gentle and obedient...men like that too...you like men ?' I nodded my head and said, 'Yes'. The young nurse smiled most sweetly at me as she removed the bed sheet covering my small cock to get it ready for that needed surgery. The surgery seemed to last for two hours...might be less...I closed my eyes.
The doctors gave me injections at my cock...one injection at each side of my cock...and one on my penis...very very painful...tears came to my eyes because of the pain...the nurses helped wipe my tears dry, saying, 'Don't be afraid...it will soon be over.' About 15 minutes later, the effects of the local anaesthetics set in, and I opened my eyes for one last time...saw that sharp surgery knife...wouldn't dare to take a second look and I closed my eyes tight again.
Despite that, I did HEAR how the surgery was going on because those slight 'bak'...'bak' sounds were vaguely audible in the quiet of the operation room -- as the tendons and skin tissues attached to my balls were cut off...and I heard the sounds of my balls...already removed...being put into a glass container near at my bedside. I left the hospital on the day following my surgery, not like some European men who could just walk out from hospital within two hours after surgery.
The immediate effects of my castration were NOT physical, but mental. I felt inside me a strong desire to SUBMIT to men after castration, and I felt that I had to be obedient to get the comfort and security of being protected by men.
To test the effects of my castration, Master asked me to go inside a narrow and hard-wired cage, which held my whole body in place so men could have my whole body toyed with in any way they wanted. The cage had the upper part of my body covered and harnessed, but leave an opening at the top for the penis to be inserted into my mouth.
The cage had me covered just down to the waist line, leaving me butt bare to be fucked by men. That was a most humiliating bondage device that I would have vehemently resisted to submit to before my castration. But after castration. I felt so SCARED when men just shouted at me....my knees grew weak...I stammered when I spoke...I didn't dare to argue back...so the only thing I could do was to SUBMIT and let men put that cage over me, so I could obediently serve them -- as the girl I felt I really had become.
Now as a post-op ladyboy escort, this steel cage...purchased online from the United States...continues to be used on me as a convenient device for giving the humiliation I need to become a truly feminine, obedient girl.
In the topmost picture, it can be seen that men can easily cum onto my face from atop the cage, and I will be required to look up...with my eyes wide open...as a gesture of submission.
Master's security guard...an Arab man with a bald head, looking very fierce...is responsible for getting me adjusted to the much bigger penis of Caucasian men who I would need to serve every now and then.
The last picture shows me being caged to entertain a 'Ladyboy Body Study Group' led by one of my former teachers and five of my former students. I would have preferred not to be 'studied' by such young boys...you see how young they are, even shorter than me and I am just 5'4"...but as a slave escort I cannot choose which types of clients I wouldn't like to serve.
But let me share a strange feeling I have when serving young boys. The fact that they are willing to travel so far to have me booked...and the fact that they are so interested in me, touching me here here and there...TURNS me on, because I feel vindicated as a girl.
When the boys say, 'Oh, Teacher you are so pretty...skin so white...butt so lovely...tits so soft and big' I feel (always do feel) so very pleased, because that shows that all those pains I have gone through in becoming a girl are after worth it, because the boys are paying quite a bit (as far as I know) to have me caged, humiliated, spanked/whipped and then fucked. Men/boys are only willing to pay money to buy sex from girls, and that unmistakably shows that I AM a girl.
i could still recollect in minute details that fateful night when my ladyboy identity was discovered by Master.
As I was juggling the accounts to get money siphoned off to my own pocket for buying my much needed...for crossdressing purpose... female hormones, pretty clothes and skincare products, I needed to purposely stay behind at the office to do overtime work as cover to give me time to carefully juggle the figures and forge the related documents/receipts to avoid detection before those figures and documents were sent out for routine audition.
It was an awfully hot night...at 36 degrees Celsius...and I was sweating all over as I was imputing the fake figures...from fake documents... into the computer. Then the central air-conditioning system suddenly broke down....and I felt sort of being suffocated by the heat, which made my breasts --wrapped and bound tight---very irritating itchy.
There seemed nobody else around, so I switched off the office lights and then went into the toilet where I took off my breast wrappings and let my breasts come out to get relief. Then I also unwrapped my cock which I usually bound up tight with soft ropes to make my penis smaller so it could become softer and smaller to attract men.
I looked at myself in the mirror...yes I was so pleased with my image -- lily white skin, big breasts, small cock and big butt--- I was having all the girly features I had always wanted. Then suddenly a hand was touching me at my butt, and when i turned to take a look ...oh, my manager (Master) was right behind me !
Master said, 'So you are a ladyboy uh ? No wonder your voice is so high-pitched ...your skin so white and smooth...and your hands and feet so small.' I was so frightened because my ladyboy identity had been discovered, and then the next moment, i was dragged by my hair out of the toilet back into the office. In my hurry to relieve myself from the heat, I had carelessly left the fake account documents...in their original drafted forms... open and uncovered... at my work desk, so that just one simple look would reveal that I was doing some illegal juggling work with the accounts.
i got down on my knees at Master's feet asking for forgiveness, as it was clear that He was going to send me to the police for my having committed the double crimes of embezzlement and forged identity. Those two crimes would put me in jail for about five years under local Malaysian laws. Master squeezed me at my nipples...using much force...i moaned in pain, and then i was asked to sit on top of my work desk to spread out my legs M-style, so Master could examine my cock.
Master murmured to Himself as He was stroking my penis, saying,' Very small...yes cute...you will earn a lot more as a small-cock ladyboy escort.' It was getting late...at 11.00 pm...and Master asked me to get back into my clothes...as a man...and he drove me to his home for further investigation of my case.
i knelt down immediately as i stepped into Master's huge detached house but Master ordered me to go down into an underground cellar where i saw chains, whips, handcuffs, iron cages, forced orgasm machines and many other discipline and bondage devices which i had seen only in movies.
Master then stripped me naked, and ordered me to kneel at a dimly lighted corner at the cellar. He then made a phone call,and then went off back up to the ground floor. I was just kneeling there, trembling all over not knowing what would happen to me.
About an hour later, Master came down to the cellar again, holding some documents in his hands, and accompanied by a middle-aged man in a suit. He turned out to be Master's personal lawyer. He told me that the crimes I had committed were serious. i had just two choices : either i would choose to be sent to the police or I agreed to sign a contract with Master, under which i would agree to be His slave for three years, from 15 March 2013 (the date when I was captured by Master) till 15 March, 2016.
The slave contract was a standard computer print-out, with details saying something about i would become Master's personal property...i don't remember the details...I was too confused...but i signed the contract immediately because in my country ladyboys like me are locked upon conviction in MALE prisons where girls like me live like hell there, being abused by the male inmates on a daily basis. I would do anything to avoid going to jail.
After i had signed the contract, the lawyer congratulated Master for having got Himself a pretty ladyboy slave, and he said that Master should remove my testicles to make my penis smaller, as castrated shemale escorts with a cute little penis usually got very well paid on the market. When i heard that, i got down on my knees...with my hands holding my ears...kowtowed to Master...begging Him not to castrate me. Master said, 'Okay if you are obedient...be a good girl...I will let your balls stay. But now I want to see whether you still deserve to have your little balls.'
That was the FIRST time when the steel cage had been used on me. This unique GIF picture was taken of me by Master-- as his friend...that lawyer...was having me fucked long and hard in my asshole...for nearly 20 minutes...in this strangely-designed steel cage... which kept my upper body in place as i was being fucked as part my initiation ceremony to my new status as a shemale slave....oh so painful, their penis was huge !
Another cage, much bigger than the one above, is for me to be handcuffed inside it -- at a standing position to receive my needed suspension whipping when I am found to be disobedient. In the first two months following the signing of my slave contract, Master invited six of his close friends to help make me more girly and obedient.
I had been a crossdresser for over 10 years before that, but I was never living as a girl 24/7 at any time in my life, since while at school and at university, I was studying there as a male, in men's clothing. Master's friends didn't just have me whipped themselves, but they also took along their teenage sons...some as young as just 13....to have me first stripped naked in this standing cage...and then they groped, caressed and stroked my body all over before they had me whipped to make me more girly and submissive.
This kind of humiliating suspension whipping successfully trained me to SOB and BEG like a girl. Although I was crossdressing for over a decade, I NEVER sobbed and BEGGED like a little girl, because that was in my view too embarrassing since I was intelligent, educated and ...was a man.
This standing cage suspension whipping succeeded in breaking that last barrier of my ever-diminishing manhood, and I sobbed, cried and begged miserably, saying, 'I will be more gentle and obedient...I will make my skin whiter and smoother...I will make my penis smaller...please fuck me in my asshole to make me an obedient girl' -- many times a day while I was receiving my daily 30-minute session of suspension whipping in this standing cage.
MtF transition does NOT consist in just taking female hormones. That could only turn out a female specimen that looks like a girl -- but without feminine feelings and behaviour.
The core theory behind femininization is that a person must be made to feel inferior, helpless and dependent...not being in a position to even feel that he/she is able to resist...and that crushing...almost repressively binding...feeling is the foundation of the sort of ultra-femininity used by women to hold men captive since the beginning of time. As Master 's slave, i am trained with the ulimate aim of becoming totally submissive to men -- and i must be trained to ENJOY my submission.
i am always reminded by Master that i am trained this way for my own good, for what is the use of becoming a girl if i remain so boy, aggressive and assertive in behaviour ?
Master has over the years designed various methods to feminize me, and among the best devices for doing so there are the forced orgasm machine, the vibrator and nipple bells, in that order.
When my asshole...and later my newly constructed pussy...is placed on...or into... the forced orgasm machine, my body is drilled to move rhythmically in tune with the incoming drills I am receiving at my bottom.
When the machine is turned to full capacity, the bells clamped onto my nipples...moved by my violent body contractions... will ring more loudly, with greater frequency, and that will... in real bedroom situations... prepare me for moving my body in just the right motions to synchronize with... and therefore complement ... my natural body movements while I am being fucked by men. If the machine is tuned to minimal volume, the bells at my nipples will just strike lightly. In such a way, I am in a subtle way playing some sort of music by moving the bells with my swinging tits, and that will naturally add more fun and pleasure to men while they are having me spanked or fucked.
When I am serving men, my clients...my former students in particular...would like to have my nipples clamped with bells, one at each nipple. When I was a teacher, I didn't allow the boys to fidget about, and I expected them to sit properly...not moving...while I was giving them lessons.
Many of my clients...including my teachers and students...already knew that one reason for my having been castrated was that I was not obedient and was too boy. So they all say that they want to help make me more girl, softer and more submissive, which is an offer that is so logical in my situation that I cannot refuse.
So while for example I am whipped/spanked on my butt, or a vibrator is plugged into my asshole/pussy, I sometimes...thankfully not too often (!).. have to have little Christmas bells clamped onto my nipples.
When the vibrator is on, or while I am being spanked, I must try my best to hold my butt as still and steady and possible...despite the hard-to-bear pain or vibration...so that the bells attached to my nipples will NOT ring. If any one of the two bells attached to my nipples rings with a noticeable 'dong' sound, that shows I am not quiet, gentle and obedient as a slave girl should -- and I would be whipped with a rod on my butt, and I have to say, 'I will be more gentle and obedient...I will learn to keep the bells quiet.'
But it isn't easy at all to hold my body still, as the vibrator up in my asshole/pussy is so very strong and tuned up...and the boys spank me really hard...so poor me, I keep on being punished by not being gentle, soft and obedient enough to hold my body still while I am on the forced orgasm machine.
All such devices are, by the way, highly effective in neutralizing the cock to make it dysfunctional, because lots of physical and electrical power are around and it is pumped right into the cock while the devices are in full gears. My own cock became totally dysfunctional just after having been literally shocked into submission by such devices.
When I still had a penis, my boy students liked having a bell attached to the tip of my penis, so that while I was being fucked or spanked at my butt, my weak, dangling penis would by its drooping, swinging movements cause the little bell to keep making 'dong'...'dong' sounds --and those sounds turned the boys on, very much so at that.
Now the bells are just on my nipples...since my penis has already been (oh thankfully) cut off...but those 'dong'...'dong' sounds created by my vibrating breasts continue to hold men in fascination...and at times my client is fucking me just a bit too brutally hard...so among my pleas for mercy is my request for permission to allow the bells attached to my nipples to freely ring, so that I can be released from the tension of keeping my body still...to keep the bells quiet...while I am being spanked/whipped or simply fucked.
So this this is the way I am drilled...being drilled...to perform this 'Dong-dong' piece of music with my moans and begging for mercy fueling the crescendo climax for this jingle-bell musical piece -- performed by the tits of a very stupid... publicly declared as being just primary school educated... post-op shemale slave escort --most obediently yours, Little Jennifer Yvonne.
Master periodically takes me to a remote spot in the countryside where i am trained to walk on my hands and knees like a dog. That humiliation is considered necessary for removing my male aggression, pride and dignity so i can settle down to my new life as a humble, feminine slave girl. While doing this doggie walk, i need to consistently raise my butt way up to get used to being penetrated doggy style by men.
To make me more submissive, Masters repeatedly throws a short wooden stick to a certain distance from where He sits, and then, like a dog, i need to pick up...retrieve.. that stick up with my teeth and mouth and then walk on my hands and knees to where Master sits to give Him back that stick, which He would if he liked throw off again to another spot for me to pick it up again like a dog. When i first underwent such humiliation training in 2013, i couldn't bear the shame of it all, and i often broke down sobbing, begging for mercy. But Master is never moved by my tearful pleas and so even now, if i don't do my doggie walk well and with care, i will still be mercilessly disciplined by being caned on my butt.
Men like to have me penetrated in the dignity of being fully clothed, leaving just their fly open. I have to show, on the other hand, my humility and submission by being totally naked whenever I am booked by a client. Unless permission is granted, I am NOT allowed to put on any clothes.
The picture above shows me being penetrated by a university student who I used to teach in junior secondary school when he was 13. I notice that the male hormone testosterone tends to make a person look old or mature...while the female hormone estrogen tends to make a person look not just nicer, but also much younger than his/her real age... so that my student looks like my elder brother despite the fact that I am in fact much older than he is.
Some of my students are now working as business executives having their own offices. The picture above shows me being collared and on my knees to await being fucked by my students, who are the managers of the office.
At the time when this picture was taken..13 .August 2015...I was still having a penis, so that before I was getting ready to be fucked, I went down on my knees to beg my students to give me permission to get hard. On that particular occasion, I was fortunately granted permission to get hard, so that eventually I was spared the pain of being spanked for inadvertently...impolitely...getting hard while I was being fucked, which I usually did involuntarily as a leftover habit from my crossdressing days.
Those students I taught in form 2 or form 3...nearly seven years ago...are now just 21 or 22, so that they are the ones who are most puzzled by how and why I end up being a girl, and an escort. Some time ago, I just asked them to click onto my Google+ profile and then they would learn as much as they want about my condition.
But then my Google + is now permanently suspended for uploading pornography and indecent material, and the fact that I am now only allowed to speak in broken, ungrammatical English in public add to my difficulty in explaining my present situation to my clients. Fortunately there is now this blogger profile, so I am now spared the embarrassment of re-telling my transition story over and over again each time I am booked by someone who used to know me as his teacher, student, schoolmate or just neighbourhood friend.
The way a girl urinates is very much different from that of a boy. Now that my penis has been cut off, my urinary tract...the passage through which my urine is excreted...is markedly shortened by at least three inches. When I still had a penis, I sometimes chose the convenience of standing to pee when nobody else was around. Neither Master or the night club manager would have ever granted me permission to stand to pee, because that was too impolite and indecent for me as a slave ladyboy escort.
At home when I was being raised as a girl by Papa, my penis was wrapped...bandaged...up, so that unless I removed the cloth wrappings or bandages, I was forced to sit down to pee. Later on, when I became the sex slave of three of my schoolmates...to keep their mouths shut about my ladyboy identity...my penis was locked and bound in a steel cock cage purchased online by those three boys from the United States, so that each time I went to the school toilet I needed to ask one of the boys to give me the key to unlock my cock cage, and at least one of them would be around at my side to make sure that I would sit down to pee like any girl.
I found the cock cage frustratingly tight and inconvenient, so that while at the university, I chose not to have a cock cage on and only put it on when I returned home for holiday to stay with Papa, who insisted that I must have a cock cage on 24/7 while holidaying at home. After graduating from university and leaving Papa for good, I met up with a girl who fell in love with me. She just THREW AWAY my cock cage, and insisted that I must stand to pee, but by then I got so used to sitting down to pee that I just couldn't easily pee standing up, my penis being just too short and small, and while urinating, I found quite a bit of urine slide down my thighs down to my feet, making a mess of my pants and trousers. So when my girlfriend was not around, I still chose to sit down to pee.
It was not that I tried to be fastidiously feminine -- it was just that I found peeing much easier...much more smooth-running...if I sat down to pee like any girl.
My penis began shrinking in size and length to about just two inches within three months after my castration, so that even with a penis, I needed to beg my clients to give me permission to sit down to pee, because it was not convenient to clean up the mess caused by my urine sliding and slipping down my legs all the way to the floor.
But some of my clients, particularly the boys who I used to teach, found it fun to ask me to stand to pee, so they could humiliate me by seeing how clumsily my small penis shot...leaked...out my urine which, because of the small size and length of my penis, couldn't be shot out with force like any normal male person. I just leaked out the urine, not shooting it out like any boy.
Now that my penis has been cut off, practically EVERY client of mine...much older men, old men, middle-aged men or young men and teenage boys...like seeing HOW I pee as a girl. My club manager says that if any client wants to see how I pee, I have to do it the way they like it. If I don't do it as required, I will be whipped on my butt by the club manager or his wife.
So the best I can do is to go down on my knees to beg my client...whether he is an old man of 73 or a young boy of 13...not to ask me to pee like that....I beg them on my knees... kowtowing to them ...saying, ' No me pee sit...shy me.' Those who knew me as a teacher and a good student are surprised that my English is so poor, and they say they won't require me to pee for them to see if I can speak good English like the way I used to when I was a teacher....I reply, ' Me slave...me disobedient...punish cut off penis..no allow speak good English...Master me make stupid girl.' Most of my clients will usually say, 'Yes you ARE stupid...cutting off your penis to be a girl eh ? Now let me see how you pee like a girl !'
So in this way I am required to pee for them to see despite my begging. They usually require me to drink several cupfuls of water filling up my bowel with water. Then nipple clamps are applied to my nipples...with my nipples being screwed really hard...and the pain of having my nipples screwed so tightly....and the fact that I have taken in so much water...will cause me to pee within about 20 minutes.
With so much stimulation I usually urinate several cupfuls of urine. Some naughty boys like having the urine poured right onto my face...a few...the naughtiest ones who I used to make them stand for hours in the classroom...insist that I must drink at least some of my own urine.
They say, 'If you can stand to pee...we let you go...if you can speak good English, we will also let you go.' I kneel down and beg them to let me go, saying, 'Stand pee...can't ...penis cut off...speak English good...can't...Master me no allow.'
This kind of reply only makes these naughty boys even more determined to make me drink my own urine, and if I hesitate, they will pull the chains attached to my nipples...pulling and stretching them really hard...so my breasts droop from the force and my nipples retract from pain...and so anyway I must eventually submit to the humiliation of drinking my own urine.
Master has found that my Google + profile is being permanently suspended for having uploaded pornographic material, and as punishment for my disobedience, I am being punished...at least once every day, but sometimes twice daily...and usually early in the morning when I must urinate...by having to stand up to pee. This is very difficult for me as my penis has already been entirely cut off.
I am not allowed to use my hands to help with my urination, so that what I can do is to stretch my legs wide apart for my urine to be shot...to be sluggishly leaked out in fact since I have no penis... into the standing urinal normally used by men. Unfortunately, much of the time I get the toilet messily dirty...despite my already outstretched legs... with the spillovers of my urine, so that I need to brush, clean and dry the toilet floor each time after I have stood to pee.
Sometimes when I am undergoing this punishment, I wish I still had a penis, so that I could shoot my pee on target into the urinal...as any boy easily can...and won't have to go through all this trouble of cleaning up the mess afterwards.
(Me - Sitting with my legs spread out M-style to await being toyed with by QUEUES of my former students who had me booked soon after my castration.)
My most heavily booked period as an escort was the period when ...in my view..my body looked really weird--having boobs on my chest but a penis without balls in between my legs.
Before my castration in December 2013, I sometimes needed to BEG my students to come book me, because my skin was admittedly rather coarse-looking, sort of yellowish, and those two testicles of mine dangling in between my legs seemed to NAUSEATE the boys. Furthermore, my penis, though small, wasn't THAT small, and could be compared in size to some of my students who also had small cocks with a short penis.
Therefore even if my booking fee was at as little as just USD 10, few students of mine bothered to take the trouble to cross the Malaysia-Thailand to have me booked in Songkla, southern Thailand.
But after my castration, everything that the boys liked me to have was happening on my body. The removal of my testicles enabled me to absorb estrogen most easily, and as the centres for manufacturing the male hormone testosterone ...my testicles...my balls...had been cut off, my skin became attractively creamy white and silky smooth. My boobs grew significantly larger, at nearly 36 inches towards the end of March 2014.
What delighted my students most was that my penis was shrinking and retracting fast both in width and length, so that with icy cold water before applied to it...abut two cupfuls were sufficient...my penis could be contracted to a cute, baby-like little lump of less than two inches.
I seemed to have lost my will to struggle when men/boys ordered me to do this and that for them, so that even if the men/boys were playing rough with me...having my butt spanked and my nipples clamped...I could only sob, cry and beg for mercy.
Tears seemed to be coming to my eyes very easily, streaming down my cheeks as I begged my clients to be more gentle with me. Sobbing and having tears shed easily...a typical feminine sort of reaction to pain and frustration...was another new physical development of mine after my castration. Before my castration, tears ...not even a single drop...just didn't come to my eyes even after I had been painfully whipped for 15 minutes by Master for not being girl enough. My students liked to take pictures of mine with tears on my cheeks because they said they had never seen any man/boy... except me...cry like this... like a little girl... in their lives.
My body and limbs were trembling all over. I sort of really became very feminine...when the boys ordered me to kneel....I knelt....when they told me to use my tongue to lick their penis or asshole...I did that...although before castration I would have struggled and resisted, because the boys normally didn't clean those body parts up properly.
I lost all my muscles...particularly those on my arms...within one month after my castration....and much of the time... I felt so soft, weak, flabby ...almost drained... all over.
Some boys...the naughty ones who I used to make stand in class for creating trouble in class....paid Master as much as USD 200 for me to spend one whole night with them -- when they subjected me to all kinds of humiliation such as attaching a red marker pen to my penis. They then asked me to use my 'penis pen' to write out certain English words....very long ones like 'responsibility' or 'establishment'... for them to learn.
I painfully took hold of my penis to manipulate the maker pen attached to it, but it was hard to write anything clear with that...I often got the alphabets reversed, blurred or lumped together...and then the boys had my butt spanked for being a poor teacher.
So many boys came to fuck me....'Teacher Girl', as they called me...that I had to sit with my legs wide open on a sofa to wait for the boys to touch and fuck me in turns--with the boys literally lining at the bedroom to wait for their turn to play with my boobs....they squeezed and stroked my small, castrated penis....some patted me on my big butt and then hand-spanked me -- and indeed everybody touched, stroked or even pinched my body all over.
All the time, I could just close my eyes...clenched my fists...but must remember to always keep my legs wide open for the boys to play with my penis and asshole --for fear of being whipped for disobedience by the boys. I was sold my Master as a submission shemale escort to the night club, so that the club manager could also whip me if he received client complaints about me.
For serious cases of client complaint...such as being impolite or not submissive enough...the club manager would arrange for me to have my nipples and penis clamped and screwed tight with bondage devices -- very painful !!
The only sounds heard in the room were those of my moans from the pain of being squeezed and fucked too hard, and my tearful pleas for mercy -- the boys had been told beforehand by the club manager to keep quiet so as not to disturb other clients fucking other girls at adjacent rooms.
(Me : On my knees with glasses on to receive my 'cumshot sight therapy' from one of my boy students. I didn't really want to upload this picture but my boy student said if I didn't upload it, he would definitely have me whipped the next time when he booked me.
So this is how I often receive my 'cumshot facial' and 'sight clearance treatment'- with glasses on to enable my not-so-well-educated clients to have the added sexciting fun and proud satisfaction of seeing a university-educated me being humiliated in this truly degrading manner.)
Because my original plan was to stay being a man at day while crossdressed at night, I worked very hard as a student...and got short-sighted.... so I could have a job and live an independent life. But the twists of events caused me to be castrated and then I now have to work as a submission escort to pay off the debts that have been...for different reasons... piling up on me over the years.
As an escort, I am not normally allowed to have glasses on when there are men around, because most men don't like to have sex with a girl who looks ' haughtily educated'. But in fact, at -400 + degrees myopia, I can't quite see things clearly without glasses. Some clients don't know that I am short-sighted but all my students do.
The boys have an open book placed on a desk and require me to sit at the desk with a straightened back to read out aloud...from a 'normal' distance... certain words they point out in that book -- but without glasses on. I could only guess what those words are, and often mistakenly read simple words like 'nail' for 'kneel'.
Whenever I make a reading mistake, I am required to put on glasses to make the needed corrections -- and if I make up to six mistakes...which I often do...I need to put on glasses to correct my own mistakes, and then I need to get down on my knees to beg the boy to have me 'deservedly' punished for having misread, say, 'man' for 'woman'. As punishment for my 'stupidity' and 'carelessness', I have to suck off the boy, and then allow the boy to shoot his cum onto my face - with the mainstream of the cum shots being targeted at my eyes. The cum shots, the boys say, will help 'clear my vision'.
I receive my 'cumshot visual treatment' with glasses on, so that much of the cum slips and hangs right beneath... at and around... the frame of my glasses. My students like taking pictures of my cum-covered face with their cum streamers sticking... and holding... like glue to different parts of my glasses, so that on those occasions when I do wear glasses while serving clients, my glasses are used NOT as visual aids, but as holding basins for the cum, spittle or sometimes urine of my clients, mainly those of my boy students.
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In my view, the following three steps are needed for my own MtF transition and feminization -
Step 1 -- There was a need to gradually diminish my manhood...taking off my male pride and dignity bit by bit...a little at a time...through being penetrated by men with strong, powerful cocks. Before my castration, a basic part of my training programme in preparation for my future life as a girl who can only be fucked...but cannot fuck...was to have my cock pressed hard an tight 24/7 by a cock lock, and then in the 30 minutes before I was fucked, my cock was washed, cleaned, rubbed and then poured over with icy cold water so it retracted to the smallest size possible. The very smallness and softness of my own cock made me feel sooooo inferior while I was being fucked by a poweful cock.
When I looked at my own soft little cock and then compared it with that powerfully big hard penis shuffling in and out of my asshole, I felt soooooo inferior and useless, and that sense of inferiority and uselessness....on my part as a man...was needed as the force needed for me to willingly accept ALL that is required of me as a girl -- humbly getting down on my knees to be humiliated, spanked/whipped and then fucked.
(Picture Below - Me being fucked by one of my students in July 2013. Master deliberately chose boys in the 13-to-16 age range to have cock squeezed and pressed small before i was fucked by them.
While i was being fucked by these young boys, Master...with a rod in His hand ready for use on me if i was disobedient... was watching on, and He ordered me to keep saying this while i was being fucked, ' Do please fuck me Sir...make my cock smaller Sir so i can be more girl.' The boys often laughed at me for saying this...calling them 'Sir' and asking them to make my cock smaller... and that HUMILIATION successfully took away my male pride and dignity, and then it also gradually...but surely...cleared the psychological blocks/barriers I faced on my progress from sissy to castrated shemale -- and then now I am a girl.
Step 2 : Removal of balls is in my view a very important step of initial MtF transition. It was so very difficult to NATURALLY develop basic female features ...big breasts, delicately smooth skin, soft facial features and so on...with my testicles internally secreting the male hormone testosterone to interfere with ...to upset, that is...the absorption of female hormones being injected externally into my body.
To facilitate the effective absorption of female hormones for anybody on MtF transition, the balls MUST be cut off, so that with the source of testosterone having been destroyed, the flow of female hormone absorption will be easy and smooth.
Furthermore, after I had been castrated, I became very soft, gentle and obedient, and would just submissively got down on my knees...with tears easily gushing out like over-spilling fountains from my eyes...when I kneel down to accept my needed punishment to give fun and pleasure to men/boys. With my testicles still on me, I would have resisted, kicked and struggled while being towed around in collar like a dog. With my balls having been cut off, I would just moan and beg for mercy while I was being whipped/spanked butt bare while being on my hands and knees to crawl around like a dog to amuse men/boys.
(Picture Below - As a needed legal procedure before my castration, the Thai doctors tested whether my penis could get hard while being stroked. So one doctor caressed me at my nipples, with the other pushing, stretching and stroking my penis.
As usual I couldn't get hard a bit. Soon after this physiological test to assess whether I was psychologically and physically suited for castration, I was asked to sign some legal papers which stated clearly that I was having myself castrated out of my own free will, and that I would willingly accept any consequence, physical or mental, arising from this castration procedure.
I was in a panic while a nurse was cleansing my cock an hour and a half before my castration. I went into some sort of hysteria, screaming and trying to run out of the ward in my naked state with no clothes on.
Fortunately, Master was around and He had me whipped butt bare... really hard with his leather waist belt...for 15 minutes...and successfully calmed me down. That commotion caused several doctors to come to see what was happening, Master made me kneel down with my hands holding my ears to apologize to the doctors for such disruption. At the suggestion of Master, i said this to the doctors, 'Please cut off my balls immediately...they are turning me mad.'
Afterwards the young nurse...who had been badly frightened by my hysteria...comforted me and in her sweet voice, she said,' Don't worry dear, every day, we are doing two or three cases like yours...castration....it just takes several hours. After your castration, you will be soft, gentle and obedient...your penis will look look cute, small and neat...men will like you more for that.' So I smiled and went gladly into the operation room.)
Picture Below : Now more than three years into my MtF transition, I am every inch a girl, except that since I don't have a womb, I can't have children, which in a way is sad, because I would like the experience of being a mother, having my child sucked my now really big, D-cup breasts.
Although my own cock was so uselessly small, short and soft, and that poor pee pee of mine had been cut off, I find being penetrated by a penis...particularly a big, long and very hard one...both fun and pleasure.
I often squirt when being penetrated by a penis as hard as THIS one in this picture. Perhaps you may not know this, the size of a person's penis size has nothing to do with his body height or weight.
As an escort, I have no choice but to become the 'common urinal' of my former students, schoolmates, teachers and school colleagues. If permitted, I choose to close my eyes to avoid meeting those of theirs. After all, being an escort is not high and noble -- quite shameful indeed especially because I was once a male teacher. But many teachers and students won't allow me to keep my eyes shut...so I HAVE to look at their cocks.
My Physical Education teacher at school...who never taught me because I had been exempted from physical education lessons on (false) medical grounds...was six feet tall, but he was just 4 inches hard. The penis you see in this picture is that of one of my students. He is just 5 feet 3 inches tall, and yet his penis is nearly 8 inches hard !
Picture Below : In January, 2014, I went went though almost daily clinical check-up for assessment of correct hormone intake after the removal of my testicles in December 2013.
Such clinical examination is an on-going process and cannot be dispensed with, because lack of regular medical guidance may lead to hormonal imbalance in my body, which in turn will (NOT may) cost me to lose my charm and femininity which are needed in my job as an escort.
Each medical examination costs MONEY, and that is adding (still does) on to the huge debts i am still owning both Master and the night club manager (who hires me as a resident shemale escort).
Following my castration, I needed to be intensively injected with female hormones at spots at two sides of my belly as part of clinical follow-up routines, for three times a week over a period of six months to reinforce my feminization.
The purpose of such injections was to make my penis atrophy further, so it would contract and retract to the smallest possible size to please my clients who are (still are) mostly my past students.
The young man you see in this picture is NOT a doctor. He is in fact one of those naughty boys who I often punished in class...by making them do back-straight-up, chest-up, head erect military style standing corner time in class.
The hypersensitive activities of such boys exasperated me, and I punished them as harshly as possible to make them become quiet and obedient in class.
The boy was examining my castrated penis...playing doctor...measuring the length of my penis with his fingers...and he afterwards decided that I must open my mouth to drink the urine he was peeing direct into my mouth -- as punishment for my penis being 'still too big' for a small-cock ladyboy.
(Picture Below : At home I am not allowed to take my own bath - I must ask a man/boy who happens to be around to bathe me. If I take my own bath by myself, I will be whipped.
But sometimes my pussy gets sooooo sticky, sort of being glued up after having had sex with men, so I jump into the kitchen wash basin to let some water drip down onto my pussy. This is just a bit of washing up...at the kitchen...not taking a bath...so I am not punished.)
Good girl well done
ReplyDeleteNice figure.
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